(no subject)

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

Time: August 4, 2000
Place: Third floor corridor
Status: Private (Adam and Pepper)
Summary: Stop fighting! You're friends!


Pepper had been avoiding Adam for well over a week now. She didn't know what to say. Well, that wasn't true, she knew exactly what to say, but at the moment she was...

She was afraid. Afraid because she knew she'd made Adam really upset this time, not like when they were kids and they just wouldn't speak to each other for the day, and then they'd both cool down and act like nothing happened. He had been really angry this time, angry in a way that he had never directed at her before. Maybe he was still angry. Maybe that was why he hadn't spoken to her since her trip to the hospital.

But if anything was going to be fixed, they'd have to talk about it. Sooner or later. And Pepper knew that. She just didn't know where to start.

She was leaving her room that afternoon, going out for the evening, looking a little tidier than usual. Which wasn't really saying much, but she'd made an effort at least. She opened the door, looking back over her shoulder and giving her room a once over to make sure that she hadn't forgotten anything, switched off the light, and stepped into the corridor.

And there across the hall was Adam, letting himself into his room.

Pepper stopped short, her mouth hanging open, her eyes wide with apprehension. Her breath caught nervously in her throat for a moment, but then she forced a deep inhalation on herself and came out with... "Hey."

She bit her lip and sighed sharply through her nose, closing her eyes momentarily in dismay. Was that really the best she could come up with? Pathetic, that's what it was.

Comments

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

Well aware that Pepper was now afraid of him, Adam hadn't tried to speak to her for fear of making things worse. Perhaps he'd over-reacted a little that day, but he didn't know how it could have been avoided, seeing as she clearly still didn't trust him and the voices tried to take over.

Still, when they intersected in the hall, it was awkward, but he was glad for it, too. Truth was, he missed her. And after being apart for a couple of years, he didn't want them to be voluntarily apart now.

He looked up. "Hi. You look nice."

edited to fix tenses :D

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

Pepper could feel her freckled cheeks going pink, and wished she had a hat or something to make it less obvious. "Thanks. Going home for supper. I figured mum would want to see me looking a tad more presentable than I usually am. Otherwise she'll get worried and make a fuss, and..." She paused for a moment, then blurted out, "And I'm really sorry, Adam. I didn't mean to go off at you like that, it just happened, and I didn't want it to get that out of hand, I was confused and - " stop talking so bloody much!

She took a deep breath. There, she had said it. Her mouth shot off like it always did, but she'd gotten it out.

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

"That sounds nice," said Adam unthinkingly. But his mind was on other matters. Instinctively, he reached out and pulled her into a hug.

"It's all right, Pep. I know. An' I didn't mean to frighten you. There was some other stuff goin' on. But I still should have given you an explanation. Even I make mistakes sometimes. I hope you'll forgive me anyway."

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

Pepper buried her head against Adam's shoulder, her hands clutching at his back. It was releaving, having him solid and right in front of her, and himself again. "I didn't expect you to get so angry," she admitted, her words muffling against his shirt. "It's not like I haven't thrown things at you before." A shuddering laugh came then, and Pepper screwed her eyes shut because right now she felt so stupid, even more so because he wasn't angry with her, not at all, and she had been running from him like he was.... Like he would do something terrible.

She would never do that again.

"And of course I forgive you, you bloody idiot. I'm your shoe-stealin' witch, 'member? And I'm first mate on the pirate ship. Can't be angry with, it'd ruin everythin'." Maybe it wouldn't make sense to Adam, but it made sense to her.

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

He chuckled sadly. "Oh, Pep... it wasn't the clock..." Adam held her tightly. She felt a little smaller than he remembered and he felt guilty for it.

"You are my shoe-stealin' witch an' my first mate. You're too important to think I'd get upset just 'cause you threw somethin' at me."

Adam wove his hand into her red hair soothingly, lightly massaging her scalp. "I dunno if you've got time now, but if you do, I'll be glad to explain anythin' I can. It's been awful without you."

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

With his hand in her hair, lightly applying pressure, Pepper felt herself relax in a way that she hadn't been able to since the picnic. She wanted to say that she had missed him too, but that was such a girly thing to say, and it was girly enough that he was holding her and she was upset enough to be blinking back moisture in her eyes.

She had time. She was going to go over early to help her mum make supper, but this was more important. Pepper leaned back in Adam's arms so she could see his face. Even as a kid she'd always thought it was much cooler to have blue eyes than boring hazel ones like hers, and Adam was easier for her to understand when she could see his eyes. "When you got mad before you left, you looked like... I mean, it felt like...." And as always, she wouldn't be able to say it.

"Did you?" was what she asked. "And... was it my fault?"

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

It didn't matter whether it was girly or not. Adam knew and Adam felt the same way.

"Yes. And no," he said simply. "C'mon in to my room. It'll be easier if we're sittin' down and comfortable."

Adam opened the door and guided her in, careful to let her choose where to sit and at what proximity to him, before trying to begin.

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

Pepper let herself be led into the room and sat down on the bed. It was most comfortable, and felt like when they were little. And it also let her see Adam clearly, let him sit across from her without a table or anything between them. She looked around briefly and managed a soft laugh despite the conversation they were having. "Your room always looks exactly the same." It was a mess. She was glad it was.

She waited for him to speak.

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

He ran a hand through his hair and smiled wryly. "Yeah. John helped me clean it a few days ago, but it didn't last long."

Remembering John's advice on that occasion, Adam made himself comfortable by sitting cross-legged on his bed and looked at Pepper, intending to tell her the truth and hoping she could handle it. "Now, I gotta ask that you listen to me all the way through without interruptin'. I'll explain everythin' I did and why and hopefully you'll understand why I made the choices I did... And if you're still mad at me, I'll understand."

He looked chagrined. "See, War's not just an angry lady who likes to fight. She is fightin'. Anytime anyone's ever fought anyone else since the beginnin', she was there. 's not like it's a hobby or somethin'. She can't help it. Well, I knew that she was gonna hafta fight someone while she was here, an' I was afraid it might be you, but I wasn't sure. I was right, though, and she attacked you at the barbecue.

"I was a little bit glad 'cause it was in front of everyone else, so I knew you couldn't get hurt too bad, and I'd be able to take care of some other stuff, too. 'Cause I did know that she'd hafta fight someone, but if I could make sure she felt guilty enough about it afterward, then maybe she wouldn't attack anyone else while she was here. John calls it the lesser of two evils. At that second, I had to decide whether to help you or try to protect everyone else in future. And believe me, Pep, it was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. But in the end, I let it go, making sure I could interrupt before you got real hurt. I knew, too, that Gabriel could heal you quickly and painlessly. And... well, it'd make you more aware of the dangers around you in case I couldn't be there one day."

Adam looked at his blanket despairingly. Pepper was never going to forgive him for this.

"So then I stopped her and talked sternly to you both. I knew you were fuzzy-headed and I hoped you wouldn't actually hear any of it. I wasn't mad at you at all and I know it wasn't your fault. But I hadda say it 'cause everyone was watchin'. What do you think would have happened if I'd just yelled at War and started helpin' you? People'd go, 'That Adam Young. He's only neutral when he wants to be. If his friends are in trouble he'll help them every time.' And half the people there woulda stopped trustin' me. But I need them to trust me. I need them to think that I'll be there to save them when they need savin', too, 'cause I will be. But I had Aziraphale make you feel better, so Anathema and Shadow could take you off to see Gabriel, and then made War promise not to hurt anyone again. Then I hadda talk to Brian 'cause he was real worried about you and angry. We came to see you as soon as we could and when we got there you were already fixed. And mad. But that's understandable."

He looked up to meet her eyes again. "You didn't trust me, though. You said I was doin' a piss poor job of keepin' everyone safe. Of keepin' you safe. And you wouldn't listen. I guess that was enough. The darkness... well, it was safer for me to leave just then. 'm glad Brian stayed to take care of you."

For a long, silent moment, Adam picked at the hem of his shirt.

"Everythin' I do is for a reason, you know. 'Cause you got your collarbone broke, you mighta saved thousands of people from dyin'. But I didn't have enough time to explain and get your permission first, so I made a decision. I'm sorry, Pepper. I really am. But it had to happen and that was about the best way it could have gone. Believe me."

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

Pepper tried to take in all that information with a level head. Being an emotional person by nature, her temper wanted to flare at some of the things Adam said. But he was being honest, telling her more than she knew he told most people, and she had to keep that in mind. No matter how much she wanted to be angry, use it as a way to counter the hurt, everything he had said made sense. If anything, it just made her feel ten times more guilty. She'd been gone two years, and they were this far apart for it? They'd misunderstood each other so completely? It wasn't right.

So now it was her turn. "I trust you, Adam. I don't want you to think that I ever don't. I just... I said what I said because I knew it would hurt you. Because I thought you didn't care." Because it was the first time that you didn't catch me when I fell. Well, not exactly the first time, but the other time wasn't something he could have helped with. "And I shouldn't have done it, but you know me and how I say a lot of things that I shouldn't say."

She pressed her lips together for a moment and stared at her feet. "Look Adam, I know there was no way you coulda told me what was going on before with War, and that you like to keep things to yourself, but I'm glad you told me this. And I really wish... I wish you would tell me more because that's what I'm here for. If somethin's botherin' you, I'm here to listen, no matter how much you think it might scare me. And I want to. So if you're upset one day or somethin's wrong, you can come and find me where I'm workin'. Please, don't be 'fraid to tell me what's going on. I'd like to believe that knowing you since you used to run around your backyard in naught but your knickers and a red cape entitles me to some trust too."

Pepper wasn't scared anymore. She wanted to know, and she hoped he would let her in a little. He didn't seem quite as joyful as the boy she'd known when she was smaller. Maybe he just needed help these days to come back to it.

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

"I do care!" Adam protested. "I care about you and Brian and Wensley more than I prob'ly should." He made a wry face. "But it does mean that you're able to hurt me more, too, and boy, you did a good job of it, Pep. I know you didn't mean to, that you've got a temper, but it was right after Brian had said a lot of the same stuff; Harry was scared and confused; Remus and Sirius and Severus were fightin'; I was dealin' with War and Mictain; and it was just a lot all at once, you know? And when I'm feelin' overwhelmed and hurtin', it's a lot harder to keep control."

He sighed. "I'm sorry, Pepper. I guess I got used to there bein' no one to talk to. I'll try to remember and come talk to you when I need to, but even still I can't tell you everythin'. Not 'cause I don't trust you, but 'cause it'd put you in danger and jeopardize some of my plans. You 'member those tightrope walkers at the circus that one time? Well we're them and we're on the thinnest wire. If we go too far to one side or t'other it's not just us that falls and gets hurt, right? It's everybody in the whole world forever an' ever. But yeah. It'll be nice to have someone to talk to again."

Laughing at the memory of running around in pants and cape, Adam added, "The Them should go off and do somethin' fun soon... Just the four of us. Get some friend time."

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

Pepper forgot most of the time that because she had worked so hard to be 'one of the boys' when she was little, it had made her a bit callous about some things. Like what might really hurt a person's feelings. When she was little, she didn't care so much - if they couldn't deal, it was their fault, right? But now things were too important to be insensitive. "I didn't know so much was goin' on that day. Guess I should 'ave figured." Then a completely random memory came to mind. "Y'know, someone peed on one of the gardenia bushes. I'm not trimming it. Not 'less it's clean."

She remembered the tightrope walkers. For months after the circus came to town she'd tried to mimic their act on sidewalk curbs, playground equipment. She was terrible at it. At uni, her stage combat instructor had actually told her to take karate to stay on her feet, find equilibrium. It had helped. "I have better balance now," she told him, not quite joking. "I won't make you fall."

Friend time sounded good. "Campin' or summat. Somethin' far away from everythin'. Just us." It brought up something that had been niggling in the back of her mind, though. She crawled across the bed and sat next to Adam, frowning. "Do you know what's goin' on with Brian? Somethin's different, but I dun't want to make him upset by askin'." Then she elbowed him in the stomach, a little gentler than usual. "And don't bother denyin' that you told Wensley and Brian to look after me. They've been playin' tag keepin' watch over me all week. I should punish you for it."

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

Adam shook his head. "There's no reason why you should know. But most days are like that. It's a lot to keep track of. And I'll share what I can, but people don't want me goin' around and tellin' all their secrets." He smiled faintly at Pepper's indignation and wasn't about to tell her who'd done it. "Couldn't you just hose it down or somethin'?"

Reaching out, he squeezed her knee. "I'm sure you do. It'd be hard to have worse," he teased, but Pepper seemed to have found better balance in more than her physical activities. Adam was glad for that. "And I know you won't. If I can't count on you, who can I?"

He adjusted his position on the bed as she moved nearer and put an arm around her shoulders. "Just us campin' sounds good. I dunno how far I can go, though. In case of emergency..." Adam held up his hands in mock surrender. "Hey! I didn't tell 'em anythin'. They did that all on their own." They had, too, and he was proud of them. Wensley would have thought about it when they were younger but not known how to do it and it never would have crossed Brian's mind. Poor Brian. "I know what's goin' on," he said. Of course he did. But how to tell Pepper? "I think Brian found someone that he likes a whole lot but doesn't think likes him back."

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

"Well, sure I could hose it down, but I think it's only fair that the person who did it should be the one to clean it off," Pepper said, her nose wrinkled in effective grossed-outness. "And I know you know who it was, so dun't you bother giving me that li'l look of yours. You dun't hafta tell me who, 'm just sayin' it's a lot to ask of the hired help, is all. 'M not a school janitor."

She shrieked without meaning to when he squeezed her knee. That spot had always been highly ticklish, much to her constant annoyance. Sticking her tongue out at the tease, she tugged at the frayed hem of his shirt once she reached him. "Well, we can't all be perfect like you in that regard, 'm afraid. But at least I know when I need new shirts and shoes."

She dropped her head onto his shoulder and sighed. "I know you can't go far. But we got those woods out back, they'd prob'ly work." Pepper blinked a little and peered up at him when he told her that Brian and Wensley hadn't been taking directions for once. "Really, they did? When'd they get all big an' responsible?" Truthfully, she had thought there was something different in how they had taken care of her, made sure she was eating right and sleeping well and not alone. Less like they thought they should and more like they were really worried. "Brian's sweet on someone an' he hasn't told us? Shame on 'im. Is it someone we know?" Pepper was actually feeling a little protective over Brian at knowing that he was suffering a case of unrequited love, but she would never admit that aloud.

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

"I'd be real, real surprised if you could convince him of that," replied Adam cheerfully. "He dun't usually do anythin' he dun't wanna. I know you're not the janitor, though. I'll come do it if you want."

Adam laughed, holding up his foot. The soles of his trainers were still nominally attached to the tops, but his toes were sticking out. "Nothin' wrong with 'em. Got lots a use left in."

He wrapped a comforting arm around her waist. Her head was comfortable on his shoulder and made him feel protective and powerful. "I guess they just grew up. I guess we all kinda did. And yeah, it is someone we know, which is prob'ly why he hasn't told us."

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

"Ah-ha!" Pepper shouted triumphantly. "So it's a he! You leaked valuable information. And that narrows down the field..." She frowned after a moment. "...practically not at all."

She eyed the trainers with an unimpressed sort of air. "Mm-hm. And then you can get hypothermia in the winter when all the snow gets in 'em. We'll have to cut off your toes 'cause of all that extreme frostbite. It'll be like when we pretended to be Eskimos after that snowstorm."

Pepper had a brief moment where Adam's arm around her waist made her tense internally, her stomach clenching the way it would before taking a fall. Her mind caught up a second later and she remembered it was Adam, and then everything was all right. She was safe. Reaching up, she let the heel of her hand rest against his spine, her fingers tugging gently on the hair at the nape of his neck. "Guess we did. S'different but good, really. You're not gonna tell me who it is, though, are you?" Her mouth twitched a little bit, and she wondered why he might want to keep it a secret. "I always kind of wondered... well, with Brian I thought maybe.... It was like when he was takin' care of me, he didn't try to pull anythin'. Not that he would because he's kinda like the brother I never had, but..."

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

Rolling his eyes and smiling, Adam said, "Well, yeah. How's a girl gonna pee on a bush?"

He shook his head as the grin widened. They both knew he wasn't going to get hypothermia or frostbite. "We were Eskimos a coupla times. Do you mean when we had Dog pull us in the sled race or when we built igloos or when we went seal huntin'?"

Leaning into Pepper's touch, Adam made a contented noise. "It is good. And no, I won't tell, but I bet you can figure it out on your own. You're halfway there already. You just gotta trust your instincts. They're good ones."

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

She shrugged. "You'd be surprised what you can do if you really have to. Not that I ever peed in a bush, and that angle woulda been hard for a girl..." Pepper chuckled to herself. She really had no idea why she was making the argument. Probably just because she could.

"When we built igloos," she reminded him. "'Member? Brian lost his foot to frostbite because we didn't get shelter up fast enough. I had to cut it off with a machete. Made it a lot harder to go ice fishin'." She wasn't going to talk about the seal hunting time. When she had found out that they were endangered from her mum, she'd made a big deal about it and yelled at all of them for a good half hour. Now it was just sort of funny to think about. "If I recall c'rectly, Dog didn't get us very far in the sled race... didn't we tip over?"

He didn't seem to be protesting much to her treatment, so she wrapped a finger in one of his curls, scratched a little. "So if my instincts are right, there can't be many people he would be thinkin' of, 'less there was someone on the rugby team he didn't tell us 'bout." She knew she wouldn't get much closer to saying it. Just like with Adam, that one word she couldn't say for fear of giving it the wrong meaning out loud.

Pepper had a thought and looked up shrewdly with a quirked smile. "Not you, is it?"

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

"I know girls can do anythin' boys can do. I just thought that sometimes they might not wanna." He wrinkled his nose.

Adam laughed. "Poor Brian's foot. I do 'member that. You hit him harder with the 'machete' than he thought he oughtta be hit but you said it hadda hurt or it wouldn't really be like losin' a foot. And you're right. We tipped over in that sled race and Wensley ended up face first in a big ol' pile of snow. That was a good winter. They were all good winters. Comin' up on another pretty soon. We should do our campin' before it gets too cold. Then when it snows we can have a snowperson buildin' competition or somethin'."

Tilting his head a little so that she could get the itchy spot, he sighed. "Not me," said Adam. "And thank goodness. Things are weird enough already."

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

She stuck out her tongue. Not because it really mattered, but because it was what she did at times like that.

At the memory of Brian howling in pain and Wensley spitting out snow, wiping his glasses clean, Pepper tipped into Adam, laughing hysterically. "That was sort of mean of me, now that I think of it. But still true, and I maintain my position on it! Poor Wens, though. He did always seem to get the brunt of everything." Winter's in Tadfield really did beat winter's everywhere else, really. "I miss the snows here. They aren't as good in London; everythin' turns to slush before you can have any fun with it. We should do campin' soon, though, you're right. And if we do a snowperson competition we have to make sure we set good rules. Last time Wensley won because his was dressed like Napoleon, and Brian and me didn't realize we could do that."

Her nails weren't as long as they got during school, what with all the gardening, but she scratched as best she could when he tilted his head. "Worse than Dog, you are," she told him, even though she didn't stop. "Yeah, sounds like things have been weird for you. An' I'm still sorry for it. If it's not you, though, then..." Her eyes went wide as tea saucers. "Wensley? Is it Wensley? Oh, it couldn't be, not for poor Brian, he's twice Wensley's size now!"

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

Letting her reminisce, and smiling softly as she did so, Adam thought back to those carefree days. It wasn't nostalgia that he was feeling, exactly. He was much too practical to wish for what used to be. Still, there had been an innocence then, but never a naivite. He'd always known he was meant for more than most. It was just that for ten shining years he'd been allowed to forget and be a boy.

"Hey," said Adam, interrupting. "When did I ever need to tell you that creativity was encouraged?"

He nearly purred as she scratched his scalp. "I'm not talking 'bout day-to-day weird. I'm used to that. It's just... some people have been thinkin' 'bout me a lot. In a certain way. And not hidin' it at all. It's distractin'. I don't have time for that stuff." He didn't really. And he was trying very hard not to have the inclination for it either. Not that any of them really suited his personal preferences, but when you're nearly twenty, it hardly seems to matter.

Adam specifically didn't respond to Pepper's question. It should have been confirmation enough.

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

It was strange, Pepper found, knowing that their childhood was so close to them, but really so far behind. Made it hard to decide how grown up to be. Not that she ever wanted to be all grown up. That would make things boring.

"Yeah, all right, but there's fair difference between makin' a costume out of pine cones and twings and dressin' up like Napoleon," she insisted.

She snickered a bit as he made a little noise that vibrated her hand. "I take it back, you're not worse than Dog, you're worse than that kitten I had for a week when I was eight." She still resented her mother for not letting her keep it. But the rest of what Adam said had her puzzling and very intrigued, so she didn't linger on it for long. "Really? Who's that, 'f you dun't mind me askin'? Can't say I'm not curious to know, as they surely won't be like the girls from school." Her brow furrowed a moment. "You meanin' to tell me that if you really wanted someone, you wouldn't go after them? Just for lack of time? Now, I know you want to let people make their own choices and such, but that doesn' sound like the Adam Young I know."

His silence did say it all. "Brian an' Wensley..." she said in a drawn out way, trying to figure out how it sounded to her. "Wow. Can't believe he never told us. Well, guess I can, but still.... Does he even know Brian fancies 'im?"

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

He shook his head, careful not to dislodge her fingers. "Just girls. And boys. And demons."

Adam sighed. "I just can't Pep. I can't let myself get influenced or distracted. There's too much important stuff happenin' that I'd better be payin' attention." He smiled weakly and tried to tease. "'Sides, can you imagine the kids I'd have? Ten or twenty lil Adams runnin' around everywhere?"

Shrugging, he said, "I dunno. 'S not really my business. An' it's not yours either. Let them figure it out. If it works, great. If not, we can comfort whoever needs it."

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

She blinked comically. "Demons? I've only met one of the demons 'round here, is it him?" She had to ask. The whole situation was far too amusing. Pepper pouted jokingly. "However do ya manage to fight off all the attention?" He certainly liked all this head-scratching so she kept going, chuckling to herself a little.

She couldn't explain why what he was saying made her sad, but it really did. "I think your kids'd be cute, though I dun't know why you'd ever want ten or twenty," she said with a small smile. "Anyways, I wasn' necessarily talkin' 'bout a family. I was just talkin' 'bout..." What was she talking about? "It just seems really unfair that you can't live your own life. Even 'f you got responsibilities. I know you, you wouldn't let yourself get influenced or distracted. And it would seem wrong, seeing you have to deny yourself things like that. I'm sure you've got millions a reasons why I dun't understand the situation on your terms, but it still doesn' sit right."

Pepper rolled her eyes. "What'do I look like, a matchmaker? I'm not sayin' a word. Just hope it all turns out alright." For all of them...

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

"Dunno. Who'd you meet?"

He bent his head further so she could get more spots but also as a good excuse to close his eyes and not need to meet hers. "And if I don't let myself get influenced or distracted? That dun't seem very fair to whoever I'm with, does it? Wouldn't be much of a life for them. 'Sides, there's always people wantin' to take advantage. The second I found someone I liked, they'd be an instant target for both sides and people'd try to use 'em against me. It's just too dangerous right now. Maybe someday," he said placatingly, though he knew, well, no point in thinking about that...

"Yeah, me too. I want them both to be happy."

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

"Met Crowley," she said offhandedly, though her stomach fluttered against her will when she thought about that meeting.

He was trying to hide, she could tell, but she let him and pretended not to notice. The answer seemed all too simple to her. "Then you'll just hafta find someone who doesn't mind coming second and who doesn't mind that share of the danger, right?"

"Want us all to be happy. Everyone. It'll happen, Adam. I know it will." And at that moment, she believed it.

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

Adam laughed. "No, it's def'nitely not Crowley. It'd be extra weird to have someone fancy you that you met as a baby." He sounded surprised. "He told you he was a demon? Huh."

And her second response was only granted a snort. "People always say they can do those things before, but no one could really understand what it means. Just don't worry about it, Pep. I'm perfectly happy as I am. With you and Brian and Wensley and our grown-up life here at Tadfield Manor. I think you're right. I think it'll work out okay."

Lifting his head, he gave her a chaste kiss on the forehead.

Sorry... brain damage tonight. ><

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

She snorted. "Yeah, I s'pose that's true. Hadn't thought of it that way. Wait, baby?" Pepper didn't understand why it surprised him; then again... "Well, he didn't exactly tell me. I sort of figured it out with a few hints. He wouldn't tell me direct. I think it was sort of a game for 'im."

She wanted to continue arguing, to tell him that he was definitely wrong about that, but there was nothing she could say, not when Adam had set his mind to an idea. She'd just have to lay it aside for another day.

He kissed her forehead and her eyes fluttered closed, even as her mind told her that was a silly thing to do. Something was very different. This wasn't like when Crowley got near to her, this was more like...

Pepper pushed it from her mind. "Do you want to come to supper with me? I know mum'd love to have you. She's been askin' 'bout you lately, wonderin' what you're up to." She looked at him pleadingly, tugged on his curls again.

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

"Oh, I guess you never heard that story, huh?" Adam ran a hand through his hair. "When I was born, I was supposed to be brought here to Tadfield Manor and switched with the baby of the American Ambassador so that I'd be raised by him. But there was a mistake and I got switched with mum and dad's baby instead. So their real son got called Warlock and was raised by the Americans and the American's son is, well, Greasy Johnson, act'lly. He got adopted 'cause there was an extra baby. Anyway, it was Crowley's job to bring me here and I got to ride in his car. Apart from Aziraphale and John, I'm the only one who's been allowed." He grinned fondly. "I believe that. I think Crowley likes games."

Another thing Adam was worried about, but not telling Pepper because she might already be affected, was his influence. When he wanted something, it tended to happen regardless of his intentions. So if he wanted someone, he had a feeling that that person would like him back. But then he'd never be sure if it was really because they liked him or because he was unconsicously controlling them. It was too much to worry about for the moment.

"Sure! I'd like to see your mum again. But you'd better pick out what I should wear, unless you think she'd like this shirt with the holes in." He pointed at one pile of clothing on the floor that looked no different from the other piles. "Those are the clean ones."

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

Pepper couldn't believe she'd never heard this part of the story. It spun quite a few things out of line for her. "Wait, Greasy Johnson is actually the son of a American ambassador? I think that says a lot 'bout America," she joked at first. But she couldn't help thinking, "So you weren't s'posed to be raised here. You were s'posed to be raised by that American family. You could have end up somehwere else. And... your parents. Their real son is actually out there, and he doesn't know that he's been raised by the wrong family." She didn't know what she'd expected. At the back of her mind she guessed that she'd always thought that Adam's mum actually gave birth to him, like the Virgin Mary did to Jesus. Then again, images of Mrs. Young as the Virgin Mary made her eyes cross. But even so... "I'm glad you ended up here," she told him seriously. The thought that he could have ended up with that other family, that she might have never met him....

At Adam's smugness about the car, Pepper tried to think about what she'd seen near to or on the ground. "Wait, you mean that gorgeous ol' thing that has to be about seventy or eighty years old? That's his car? Wicked..." She wasn't about to tell him that Crowley had flirted with her a little. Somehow Pepper thought it wouldn't go over well.

Laughing, Pepper bent backward over the edge of the bed, upside down with her long hair sweeping the floor. "No, don't think she'd like that shirt. Not unless it had a big peace sign on it. Then she'd think you'd gone antique shopping and she'd be very proud." SHe flipped onto her stomach, halfway rolling onto him so she could get a better view of the heap. "All right, I know I hate folding laundry as much as the next young person, but really, how do even know they're the clean ones? What about when the piles blend?" She picked through the clothes without hesitation, trying to find something that looked just a bit presentable. "Where's the closet? Come on, where are all those shirts that you mum gives you for Christmas and all? The ones that have collars an' buttons..."

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

"That's right," said Adam. "We were all three of us blond, so no one could tell which baby was whose. And it's true that mum and dad's real son is out there, but he don't know that he's got the wrong parents, and mum and dad don't know that they got the wrong son, and my real mum is dead, and Greasy's parents always wanted a kid, so I guess it all works out." He had a faint idea of what Pepper was thinking and it made him wince. No child wants to think about their parents having sex, but imagining your mum having sex with Satan...

Adam grinned. "Yup. The Bentley. It's pretty amazin'. He's real proud of it."

Leaning back slightly so that Pepper could reach farther, but not otherwise moving out of the way, he said, "I just know." But at the mention of the Christmas shirts, he started to look guilty. "Er... under the bed, maybe? If I have any here." If he did, they'd never been worn. That counted as clean, right?

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

"Guess it does work out. You're in the right place, after all. That's the most 'mportant thing." She wasn't sure if she should ask her question, but she ploughed ahead anyhow. "How do y'know that your real mum's dead?"

She laughed inwardly at the image of Adam's father and how he liked to take care of his cars oh-so-diligently. "I'll bet he is. That's the kinda car that there's a reason you'd want to take good care of it."

Pepper crawled forward a bit on the mattress, so she could pull up the covers and look under the bed. She crawled forward further since everything looked dark under there. "I think that monster that used to live on the ol' playground lives down 'ere now. Can't see a thing." Little further....

And then her legs flipped over her head as she tried to regain balance, and she fell off the bed into a crumpled pile on the floor. "I did that on purpose," she muttered, reaching one hand under the bed without daring to look again, and grabbing the first thing that came within reach. It was a box, so there had to be something in it that Adam didn't want. "This one, maybe?"

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

"Yup," he agreed. "Who knows what woulda happened if I'd been raised by Satanists or somethin'. But it all worked out."

Adam gave her a Look. "How do I know anythin?" He wasn't about to tell her that his baby self saw and remembered her death. At least it had been quick...

"'s easy for him. He hasn't even bought petrol since 1967. And then it was just for the transfers." He giggled slightly.

Adam tried to grab Pepper before she toppled over, but the only handholds in reach weren't places he should be grabbing, so he just had to hope the clothes would break her fall.

Sheepishly, he took the proffered box and blew dust off the lid before opening it to find a new red striped polo shirt. He frowned. "My mum still thinks it's 1984..." But it didn't stop him from taking the shirt out, removing the tags, tugging his own ratty t-shirt off, tossing it into one of the floor piles, and pulling on the new one. "Better?"

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

"Satanists?" Pepper thought that sounded funnier to her than it should have. "Why, what would they've been like? Would they 'ave dressed you in horns and little tail all the time and worshipped you on some altar where they sacrificed pigs?"

She cast her eyes to the floor when he gave her that Look. "True 'nough," she conceded. Then she got an evil little smile on her face. "Fine then, what am I thinkin' of right now?" She'd always had the urge to ask them that when they were younger, after they'd found out what he was, but she'd never had an opportunity.

"Being a demon has perks then, I see," she mused. "But why would you buy petrol for tranfers? Like the ones for windows you meant, right?"

When he blew the dust off the box, most of it flew off the bed and right into Pepper's face. She gave a great sneeze. "Oy, thanks." She positively giggled when she saw the shirt. "Well, with how you keep these things, she may very well have bought it for you in 1984." Okay, so that wasn't true. And she did not stare as he switched shirts, she definitely did not. But she did smile at the final product and tease just a little. "You look practic'ly like a grown up person. It's all manner of impressive."

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

"Not quite that bad, but you shoulda heard the nursery rhymes that Warlock's nanny came up with..."

Adam fought a smile. "I dunno if you really want me to answer that. It's not so easy anyway. Everybody thinks 'bout ten things at once and feels even more. It's more like a cloud then reading words off a page." And people found it disconcerting if not outright frightening. Often it seemed like having privacy in your thoughts was the only thing that kept anyone sane.

But he couldn't not smile then. Crowley's fancies were always amusing. "You had to fill up your tank to get the ones he wanted. They were James Bond bullet-hole-in-the-windshield lookin' ones."

Adam looked ruefully down at his red shirt. "It's amazin' what I can do when I put my mind to it," he teased. "Am I impressive enough for us to go?"

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

Pepper shot him a truly perturbed look at the mention of nursery rhymes used on an alleged Son of Satan. In the end, she decided that was a conversation best reserved for later. Like if she ever had to babysit in the near future....

She lifted her eyes to the ceiling in another tease. "Oh, I see, too many thoughts. So you just can't possibly do it. How convenient." She grabbed a red ball that was dangerously near to getting swallowed by the vast black hole that was under Adam's bed, and started to bounce it on the floor.

At the mention of James Bond bullet hole tranfers she cackled. "Proof beyond a doubt that all things even vaguely male are always ten years old at heart. Not that I wouldn't like that on the Volkswagon. Dun't you think they'd look good on a car painted with peace signs?"

She gave the final nod of approval. "Yes, quite impressive. When we get there I'll let you help out too, 'f mum's not done cookin'. You can do somethin' manly - like choppin' lettuce."

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

"It's not convienience." Adam concentrated. "Look, right now you're thinkin' that you'd like it if Brian and Wensley got together and wonderin' how that'd work exactly. You're also thinkin' some sweet thoughts about Crowley and feelin' guilty about Roger. You think I look kinda silly in my shirt but didn't mind when I had it off. Also, you're hopin' your mum won't say anythin' embarrassin' at dinner and that she won't be servin' tofu again. And now you're gettin' mad at me, so I'll be quiet."

He stood and headed for the door. "Just remember, you asked. So, can we go?"

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

Pepper clamped her mouth shut right quick. Truthfully, she hadn't realize that she'd had all that in her mind at the same time, as she tended to think that her thought process was pretty simple. She definitely wouldn't have asked if she'd known that wasn't the case. "Right..." she said, and was even more upset that her voice shook on her. She dropped the ball and let it roll under the bed. Be careful what you wish for, Pippin Galadriel Moonchild.

She tried to make light of it all things conisidered. Although, he could sense how she really felt about it, so she didn't know why she was bothering. "Well, her tofu is terrible. I almost died when she tried to go vegetarian..."

Getting to her feet, she pulled her car keys from her back pocket and followed him to the door. "Yeah, let's get outa here." Before I do anything else to embarrass myself...

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

Adam reached out to give her a one-armed hug. "I only did it 'cause you asked, Pep. I really don't go 'round readin' people's minds all the time. I hafta want to do it and I don't like invadin' people's privacy like that. Don't worry, I won't do it again without your permission. Your thoughts are safe. Now let's go. I've got some lettuce needs cuttin'."

[playswithboys.livejournal.com]

Pepper gave a one-shoulder shrug, dismissing his assurances. "I know you won't be doin' it again. Because you know what I'd do if you did it again. Dun't need to read my mind for it neither."

She gave him a friendly shove out of the room. "That's right now. Hurry it up, because I'm gonna want tomatoes in that salad too." She shut his door behind them, and followed Adam out.