Neutral Omens

Brian was being awfully quiet, but Pepper had a habit of continuing to talk even when she knew she shouldn't, so she pressed him. "Sure he needs a lady love. That's the new thing, haven't you heard? Villian's got to have depth now, otherwise he's borin'. So he's gotta have a love, or a really nasty past where his dad beat 'em or somesuch."

She really didn't get what the big deal was. Wouldn't be the first time Brian had to be the girl.

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"It ain't gonna be me," Brian said shortly, and stood up.

Wensleydale and lady loves... maybe he'd devoted some thought to the subject. Not play, either.

Thing was, Wensley was likely to want one, eventually. Brian, on the other hand, would rather have a lordly love, and more than THAT, he'd rather have Wensleydale.

"Wensley's my friend."

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Pepper blinked confusedly. She wasn't used to Brian being snippy like that. She hoped that his time away hadn't turned him into a big man with PMS. She didn't think she could take any of the male portion of the Them having worse mood swings than her.

"Yeah, Wensley's my friend too, wanker," she exclaimed jovially. "That's not we're talkin' about, though. We're talkin' about pirates" She looked to Adam to back her up, to catch the expression on his face. Was there something she was missing? Did someone have a fight and she didn't know about it?

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"...right."

Brian frowned in concentration for a moment. And then another.

His face cleared. "I can't be his lady love if I'm bein' a pirate. So he'll have to have a tortured past, 'nstead."

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Adam glanced between Brian and Pepper, letting some interesting pieces drop into place.

"All right," he decreed. "Nothin' sayin' the lady love can't be a pirate, too, but Brian dun't hafta be the one if he dun't want. I don't wanna give Wens a tortured past, though. How 'bout he has a pet jaguar from the rainforest and the three pirates hold him for ransom?"

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"An' Dog can be the pet jaguar!" Pepper added excitedly. She was a little put out that he couldn't have a tortured past, but a jaguar was just as good really.

She looked up at Brian, hoping that was all right and he wasn't feeling morbid anymore. "How's that Brian? Think Wensley wants a pet jaguar?"

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"Yeah!" Brian liked the idea a lot better, and took to it with enthusiasm. "Named Bagheera or something."

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Pepper smiled. "Sure! Bagheera could work real good." She wondered if Brian had been reading the same books she had while they were away.

And because he was still standing, she crawled forward and tackled him, pulling his legs out from underneath him and sending him flying.

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"HEY!" he said, flailing for balance. "No fair playing it on the ground, Pep!"

His landing was cushioned by the greenery. He still wasn't atall amused.

Much. He burst into a peal of laughter before he could stop himself.

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Pepper crawled forward and started tickling Brian's sides, kicking Adam lightly with her foot to get him involved in the fray.

"Since when did we ever have rules about how I could attack? All that rugby make you go soft in the head and forget Our Rules?" She flexed her finger mercilessly, remembering again that Brian had the most ticklish ribs of anyone she had ever known.

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"Hey HEY! Don't insult R-- DON'T DO THAT!" Brian burst into giggles, trying to punch her arm and block his poor ribs at the same time.

As a maneuver, it failed.

"Adam, Help! Help!"

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Adam just sat and laughed, hugely comforted by the familiar display.

"I can't help," he managed to say. "Otherwise she'll come after me. Every boy for himself."

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"Adam!" Brian said, looking utterly betrayed. "That's it, Pep! I'll just get you MYSELF." He folded over to grapple with her, trying for one of those wicked wrestling holds you weren't s'posed to be able to break.

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Which was, of course, the point. Adam just laughed more. He'd make it up to Brian later.

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Oh boy. If he was going to do wrestling holds, then she could do karate kicks right? She put a knee to his chest and pushed -

Oy, he was heavy.

"Adam?" she said desperately, being crushed under massive Brian-weight, "what good are you doing just sittin' there?" She looked up at Brian. "Get off me, you, or I'll bite you like when we were on vacation that time!"

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Brian squeaked in remembered pain and crabscuttled back. "Not ON, Pep."

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Pepper smirked. "Well, I got to defend meself now that you're all big and hefty. Should warn you, though - I just learned to chop wood blocks with my hands." Well, it hadn't been a completely clean cleave, but she was getting close. Hurt like hell, though.

Her hand shot out lightning-quick and wrenched a shoe off of Brian's foot. She tossed it to Adam. "You know how it goes! Better run!"

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"Utter bastards!" Brian bounced to his feet, launching a tackle to Adam, hoping to catch him before he made a break for it.

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"Hey, what are you gettin' me all involved for? It's your fight!" Adam tossed the shoe back at Pepper and tried to roll out of Brian's way.

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Pepper caught the shoe and tossed it at Adam's head. It made contact quite nicely.

"Since when do you get to stay on the sidelines and watch? You forgotten how to play, or somethin'?" she teased. "Or are you just afraid of Brian now that he's all big and scary?"

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"Since now, that's when," said Adam rubbing his head. "I didn't forget how to play. I just gotta be careful 'bout takin' sides."

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"I am not scary," Brian said to Pep. "YOU'RE scary! So there."

He dove for the shoe when it bounced off of Adam's head, rolling with it held tightly to his chest. "Hah!"

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Pepper let the shoe and the comment go, and looked hard at Adam. Well, there was a way to kill fun that she hadn't seen used before. She'd thought he seemed a little somber for all the sillyness. More cautious than he used to be.

"Adam..." She really wasn't sure what she wanted to say about that. Except exactly what was in her head, and she wasn't sure he would respond well to it. "Adam, it's just me and Brian. It's not sides, it's just...." She finger combed her hair out of her eyes, stared at the ground in frustration. "You're not going to hurt anyone, Adam, if that's wot you're worried 'bout. I know you won't."

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Brian frowned. The victory of the shoe seemed a bit diminished.

He dropped it and wriggled his foot into it.

"...woss going on?"

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