(no subject)

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

Date: June 24, 2000
Setting: First Floor Men's Bathroom
Status: Public (Newt and Loki)
Summary: Because we haven’t seen Newt ‘repair’ something in too long.



He was having a good day today. This was only the second time he’d thrown up and it was well past lunchtime. Lately throwing up les than five times qualified as a very good day for Loki, so he left the stall in almost high spirits, splashed some water into his face and smiled up at the flickering lamp on the ceiling.

There were all sorts of fun things one could do with a broken lamp and the right mark. Too bad he didn’t have one handy.

He opened the door and walked out almost colliding with ...

“Newt, my friend! What a lucky coincidence! I was just thinking of you.”

Comments

[electrictadpole.livejournal.com]

"Oh." Newt said in surprise. "Hello. I haven't seen you around since I let you into your room the other day."

He'd also been thinking since then. The Cellophane Monster Inciden (http://community.livejournal.com/neutral_omens/39961.html#cutid1) had been successfully repressed, but he was beginning to recall the ideas he'd been toying with around the time. Newt wasn't sure if it was unnecessary paranoia to say that everything he tried to do failed, but... well, he'd suspected it ever since that faulty transistor radio he'd made as a lad. The joke one that the magazine promised was completely and absolutely guaranteed not to work. The one that had picked up Radio Moscow.

It seemed as though every time he'd had a chance to take his theory further, something had happened to interfere - vis, the notpocalypse (which was still hazy in his memory), and the Cellophane Monster Incident, and countless other things. It was as though something was... hiding.

"I was actually just here to do something about the lightbulb," he added absently, "people have been complaining."

And it was relatively harmless, and if he concentrated very hard on not paying attention to his little, er, problem, maybe he'd actually get some evidence this time.

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

"Yes, I was just about to tell you about it." Loki nodded seriously. "It might not be a big problem, yet, but I wouldn't like to suddenly be standing in the dark. Someone might get hurt. Want me to lend you a hand? I'm terribly clumsy, but I can hand you tools or hold a ladder for you or something ... maybe just hand tools."

[electrictadpole.livejournal.com]

"Oh, sure." said Newt, handing Loki his tool box. "Here you go. Thanks."

He unfolded the small ladder under his arm (the larger one had gone mysteriously missing, and this one was easier to carry anyway) and stood on it, very definitely not thinking about trying not to fall off.

"Right, uh... screwdriver?"

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

Loki rifled through the toolbox for a screwdriver that would definitely not fit. Ah there! He handed Newt the biggest screwdriver he'd seen in a long time.

"This one?" he ashed with an innocent smile.

[electrictadpole.livejournal.com]

Newt, who was busy vaguely thinking about how much he wanted the lightbulb to stay stuck to the ceiling, grabbed the screwdriver without looking and jabbed it at a screw. Which was much too small, but that was okay, because he missed, accidentally jamming the screwdriver between the fixture and the ceiling.

"Er." He said, tugging on it. It wouldn't budge. "Bugger, hang on, I'll just-" he panted, leaning on it with all his weight.

A hairline crack started to creep away from the lightbulb.

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

"Different screwdriver?" Loki offered innocently. "Or no, you'll want to get the first one loose first. Tongs?"

They were nice large and heavy ones, too. Just right for dropping onto a foot, Loki thought.

[electrictadpole.livejournal.com]

"Um, I think maybe oil." Newt replied, still pulling ineffectually on the screwdriver. "There should be some in the little compartment under the box."

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

Loki checked, found the oil and made sure to spill some right under the ladder.

"Ups, slippery little bottle! Here you go." He handed it up to Newt.

[electrictadpole.livejournal.com]

"Thanks."

Newt felt he could safely release the screwdriver to undo the cap on the bottle, considering why he needed said bottle in the first place.

However, removing the cap proved to be somewhat more problematic than expected.

"Damn." Newt mumbled as his fingers slipped again. "It won't-" ...then he remembered his cunning plan.

So he took a deep breath and turned the cap really hard in the wrong direction - at which the bottle miraculously popped open, coating Newt's hands in oil.

"Ah. Well, then." He said, reaching up to apply the oil to the screwdriver.

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

Loki quickly ducked out of the way of splashing oil and 'accidentally' pushed against the ladder. It swayed a little, but to his disappointment didn't fall. Oh well, at least it was standing right in the oil puddle now.

"Are you sure you don't want the tongs?" he called up to Newt hoping to distract him.

[electrictadpole.livejournal.com]

"Well, it can't hurt." Newt shrugged. He reached down to grab them, holding on to the screwdriver with the other hand.

At this point three things happened. Newt overbalanced, clutching the screwdriver. His hand, coated in oil, slipped off the handle, which bounced back up to the cieling.

Which made an ominous creaking noise, but Newt didn't notice, as he was rather busy falling on top of an annoyed Norse god.

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

"Aaahh!" Loki had not counted on Newt and the ladder landing on top of him when they fell and even less on landing on top of a rather hard and painful tool box.

"Ouch," he complained. "As if I didn't already have enough bruises."

He made an attempt to wriggle out from under Newt, but his foot seemed to be somehow entangled with the ladder and ... Where had that cracking sound come from?

A fine white dust was raining down on him, but it couldn't be snowing. Not inside a building. Even if there were a hole in the ceiling how would snow get into the ground floor of a three story building in England at this time of the year?

Wait a minute: Hole in the ceiling? White dust?

Loki looked up. Cracks were forming on the ceiling right before his eyes!

"Ups." It wasn't exactly the first time this sort of thing had happened to him, but for some reason it came as a surprise every time.

[electrictadpole.livejournal.com]

"I can reccommend a good salve to put on them," Newt said absently, sitting up and wiping the oil out of his eyes. He blinked stupidly at his hand for a few seconds, wondering why it has gone all white. Then he looked up.

"Oh, bugger." He said vehemently.

And then the ceiling fell in.

[chantinellie.livejournal.com]

There was only one type of injury that produced that particular flavor and white-hot intensity of pain, and Ellie was quite familiar with it, having both inflicted it on numerous occasions and (once and only once, in incubus form) been on the receiving end. She stopped on her way toward the back exit and winced sympathetically. Somebody had just got it where it hurt, and he was (understandably) really, really pissed.

Not just somebody, but a demon. And not just any demon, she realized, recognizing the unique signature that underlaid the flood of scarlet-tinged power. Shit. Not good, not good at all...

She didn't stop to think about the location, just barged into the men's room hoping to prevent Crowley from murdering whatever poor slob had just had the bad judgement to fight dirtier than he did. "What the hell's--oh, crap.

"Loki?" she said in as calm and reassuring a voice as she could manage, trying to make sense of what she was seeing (they were fighting over Chicago? In what bizarre alternate universe did Norse gods and demons attack each other because of kittens??--"Sweetheart, why don't you step away from the very angry demon and let me hold the kitty? Before someone--ah, someone else--gets hurt?"

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

Hah! It worked on not-gods after all! Maybe not all of them, but at least some. Loki was just about to follow his success up with a few good kicks while Crowley was still down when the beautiful demoness burst into the room.

It was unfortunate that Odin seemed to have some sort of claim on this one. Loki had rarely met a woman who was this attractive. She almost reminded him of Freya, though she was a completely different type.

"He was going to torture the poor thing," he explained cradling the kitten against his chest.

She was a not-god as well, but then again she was female and friendly. Surely she didn't have any intention to harm the kitten. Right?

"You know how to hold her properly?" he asked just to make sure. "Kittens are very vulnerable creatures."

[chantinellie.livejournal.com]

Ellie blinked once, schooling her face not to betray any other reaction at the highly unlikely accusation. "I think I can manage. Chicago and I have met before, haven't we, baby girl?" she said to the kitten, just a touch of baby-talk singsong coloring her tone.

Her peripheral awareness, however, was focused all on Crowley, trying to judge how long it would take him to recover enough to launch a counterattack. If she could retrieve his pet before then, everything should be fine. Yeah. Just fine. Come on, Loki, stop wibbling and just hand her over, there's a dear...

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

Indignant, Crowley tried to speak. Then he cleared his throat and tried again an octave lower.

"Idiots... hole in my floor." He pointed up with one hand while the other stayed where it was protecting his sensitive area if not his dignity. "Chicago fell..." Crowley's face darkened. How could he protect anyone if he couldn't even manage to protect a kitten from harm in his own private bathroom from a jerk who wasn't even trying? He sagged onto the floor.

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

Loki glanced at Crowley and decided that the not-god currently wasn't a threat.

"Alright," he told Ellie stepping closer to her with the kitten in both arms now. "Take her. Gently."

Chicago was such a sweet cuddly-soft little thing. He regretted having to let go of her, but he'd be in a better position to defend her should Crowley try to attack after all, if he had his hands free.

[chantinellie.livejournal.com]

Ellie took the kitten with exaggerated care, cradling her in both arms and stroking her soft fur. "Hello, Chicago. Have these silly men been frightening you, hmm?" Well, that was step one. Step two would be getting the kitten back to her rightful owner without causing Loki to go ballistic. Perhaps it would be wise to wait on that until Crowley had collected himself a little, though.

She looked up at the hole in the ceiling with a slight frown. "How on earth did that happen, anyway?"

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

"Well," Loki said with a slightly sheepish glance up at the hole in the ceiling. "Newt here was um ... repairing the lamp. Well, the lamp that used to be up there when there still was a ceiling."

"These things happen all the time," he added when he saw Ellie's look. "You wouldn't believe how often I've seen ceilings and walls and even entire buildings collapse for the most innocent reasons."

Experience had taught him not to mention that such things had a tendency to happen when he was playing one of his little pranks. He didn't want to be blamed for Newt's clumsiness.

[chantinellie.livejournal.com]

"Uh-huh," Ellie said, unconvinced. The last ceiling that had collapsed in the Manor had been the direct result of someone carelessly screwing around. At least nobody had been discorporated this time (yet.) "Well, why don't you boys see about getting that hole fixed? Someone will be needing this room for its rightful purpose at some point and I doubt the view will be appreciated."

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

"Fix the ceiling?" Loki stared at Ellie incredulously. "How? I'm not a mason. What do I know about fixing ceilings?"

Loki had occasionally paid for damages he'd unintentionally caused and more often made it up to people by giving them gifts or doing them favours. Cleaning up his own mess however was an entirely alien concept.

[chantinellie.livejournal.com]

Ellie increduloused right back at Loki. "How? I don't know, you just...fix it," she said, gesturing at the damage. "You are a god, right? You can't miracle up a little patch of ceiling? Or I suppose someone around here must have some patching plaster." She was really less concerned about he ceiling than about getting Loki's attention on something other than Chicago and/or Crowley. "What about you--Newt, is it? Oh, are you okay?" she said, finally noticing that the man, in addition to being caked with plaster and debris, appeared to be bleeding.

[electrictadpole.livejournal.com]

"What?" Newt said, blinking plaster dust out of his eyes. He'd missed large parts of the conversation due to the odd ringing noise in his ears. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure it worked. Well, not worked, as such, but I proved a point, which is something I suppose, and it's a slippery little bugger, so I think that went pretty well, don't you think?"

And then he passed out.

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

"Newt!" Loki yelped and dashed over to the human's side. "Are you okay? Please say something!"

Newt however didn't move. This was a rather worrying development. Humans, Loki knew were fragile things. They died much too easily and he didn't like accidentally being the cause. Especially when he liked a human and he did like Newt. He was so much fun to play with.

"Come on Newt," he pleaded. "It was just one small cat and a tiny little bit of plaster. You can't be dead."