Neutral Omens

There was only one type of injury that produced that particular flavor and white-hot intensity of pain, and Ellie was quite familiar with it, having both inflicted it on numerous occasions and (once and only once, in incubus form) been on the receiving end. She stopped on her way toward the back exit and winced sympathetically. Somebody had just got it where it hurt, and he was (understandably) really, really pissed.

Not just somebody, but a demon. And not just any demon, she realized, recognizing the unique signature that underlaid the flood of scarlet-tinged power. Shit. Not good, not good at all...

She didn't stop to think about the location, just barged into the men's room hoping to prevent Crowley from murdering whatever poor slob had just had the bad judgement to fight dirtier than he did. "What the hell's--oh, crap.

"Loki?" she said in as calm and reassuring a voice as she could manage, trying to make sense of what she was seeing (they were fighting over Chicago? In what bizarre alternate universe did Norse gods and demons attack each other because of kittens??--"Sweetheart, why don't you step away from the very angry demon and let me hold the kitty? Before someone--ah, someone else--gets hurt?"

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Hah! It worked on not-gods after all! Maybe not all of them, but at least some. Loki was just about to follow his success up with a few good kicks while Crowley was still down when the beautiful demoness burst into the room.

It was unfortunate that Odin seemed to have some sort of claim on this one. Loki had rarely met a woman who was this attractive. She almost reminded him of Freya, though she was a completely different type.

"He was going to torture the poor thing," he explained cradling the kitten against his chest.

She was a not-god as well, but then again she was female and friendly. Surely she didn't have any intention to harm the kitten. Right?

"You know how to hold her properly?" he asked just to make sure. "Kittens are very vulnerable creatures."

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Ellie blinked once, schooling her face not to betray any other reaction at the highly unlikely accusation. "I think I can manage. Chicago and I have met before, haven't we, baby girl?" she said to the kitten, just a touch of baby-talk singsong coloring her tone.

Her peripheral awareness, however, was focused all on Crowley, trying to judge how long it would take him to recover enough to launch a counterattack. If she could retrieve his pet before then, everything should be fine. Yeah. Just fine. Come on, Loki, stop wibbling and just hand her over, there's a dear...

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anthony-crowley.livejournal.com

Indignant, Crowley tried to speak. Then he cleared his throat and tried again an octave lower.

"Idiots... hole in my floor." He pointed up with one hand while the other stayed where it was protecting his sensitive area if not his dignity. "Chicago fell..." Crowley's face darkened. How could he protect anyone if he couldn't even manage to protect a kitten from harm in his own private bathroom from a jerk who wasn't even trying? He sagged onto the floor.

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Loki glanced at Crowley and decided that the not-god currently wasn't a threat.

"Alright," he told Ellie stepping closer to her with the kitten in both arms now. "Take her. Gently."

Chicago was such a sweet cuddly-soft little thing. He regretted having to let go of her, but he'd be in a better position to defend her should Crowley try to attack after all, if he had his hands free.

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Ellie took the kitten with exaggerated care, cradling her in both arms and stroking her soft fur. "Hello, Chicago. Have these silly men been frightening you, hmm?" Well, that was step one. Step two would be getting the kitten back to her rightful owner without causing Loki to go ballistic. Perhaps it would be wise to wait on that until Crowley had collected himself a little, though.

She looked up at the hole in the ceiling with a slight frown. "How on earth did that happen, anyway?"

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"Well," Loki said with a slightly sheepish glance up at the hole in the ceiling. "Newt here was um ... repairing the lamp. Well, the lamp that used to be up there when there still was a ceiling."

"These things happen all the time," he added when he saw Ellie's look. "You wouldn't believe how often I've seen ceilings and walls and even entire buildings collapse for the most innocent reasons."

Experience had taught him not to mention that such things had a tendency to happen when he was playing one of his little pranks. He didn't want to be blamed for Newt's clumsiness.

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"Uh-huh," Ellie said, unconvinced. The last ceiling that had collapsed in the Manor had been the direct result of someone carelessly screwing around. At least nobody had been discorporated this time (yet.) "Well, why don't you boys see about getting that hole fixed? Someone will be needing this room for its rightful purpose at some point and I doubt the view will be appreciated."

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"Fix the ceiling?" Loki stared at Ellie incredulously. "How? I'm not a mason. What do I know about fixing ceilings?"

Loki had occasionally paid for damages he'd unintentionally caused and more often made it up to people by giving them gifts or doing them favours. Cleaning up his own mess however was an entirely alien concept.

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Ellie increduloused right back at Loki. "How? I don't know, you just...fix it," she said, gesturing at the damage. "You are a god, right? You can't miracle up a little patch of ceiling? Or I suppose someone around here must have some patching plaster." She was really less concerned about he ceiling than about getting Loki's attention on something other than Chicago and/or Crowley. "What about you--Newt, is it? Oh, are you okay?" she said, finally noticing that the man, in addition to being caked with plaster and debris, appeared to be bleeding.

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"What?" Newt said, blinking plaster dust out of his eyes. He'd missed large parts of the conversation due to the odd ringing noise in his ears. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure it worked. Well, not worked, as such, but I proved a point, which is something I suppose, and it's a slippery little bugger, so I think that went pretty well, don't you think?"

And then he passed out.

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"Newt!" Loki yelped and dashed over to the human's side. "Are you okay? Please say something!"

Newt however didn't move. This was a rather worrying development. Humans, Loki knew were fragile things. They died much too easily and he didn't like accidentally being the cause. Especially when he liked a human and he did like Newt. He was so much fun to play with.

"Come on Newt," he pleaded. "It was just one small cat and a tiny little bit of plaster. You can't be dead."

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There was a moment or two of silence, and then...

"Mrglsushi," muttered Newt, squinting. Everything was white, and sort of blurry.

He sat up rather abruptly, and winced as the room spun. He grabbed hold of the nearest available white blur to steady himself. This turned out to be Loki. "Think I've gotta thing. Concussy thing. Bloody cat."

[ooc: try help him up, the dare can happen on his way back down XP]

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He was alive! He was moving and talking! Loki hugged Newt happily.

Concussy thing? Oh right, concussion. Loki knew very little about those other than that you got them from being hit over the head. Chicago wasn't that heavy, though. Or was she?

Humans were fragile, he reminded himself and at least Newt was alive. Concussions healed.

"Can you stand?" If Newt could stand and walk he was fine, Loki decided. "Here, I'll help you." He tried to pull Newt back onto his feet.

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The room heaved as Newt stumbled to his feet.

"I think we're sinking," he said, before slipping in the oil, losing his balance again, and falling on top of Loki. "Oops, sorry, maybe getting up is a bit ambitious, um."

And then he realised where his hand had ended up, and froze. In fact, what with the red face and all the plaster dust, he rather resembled a giant candy cane.

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There was another man's hand touching his most private parts! Under different circumstances Loki would have killed the guy, but it was an obvious accident.

"Get off me!" Loki hissed at Newt. "Now!"

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"!" said Newt, attempting to free his hand without falling over. "Um, I think my watch is caught on your, um, zipper."

And just to make the attempt a miserable failure on all counts, he then fell over.

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Ellie shifted Chicago to one arm and clapped the other hand firmly over her mouth to contain the hysterical gigglefit that was threatening to burst out. Well, she had wanted a distraction...

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Loki glared at Newt and tried to tear the human's hand away by force. Why couldn't it be Ellie stuck with her hand in his pants instead?

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Ellie swallowed her laughter and carefully set Chicago on the floor, nudging her gently in Crowley's direction. Best to get this straightened out before someone really did get hurt.

"Gentlemen, perhaps I can be of some assistance," she offered, stepping closer to the hapless pair. With a wave and a moment's effort of will, she disengaged Newt's watchband from Loki's zipper-pull so they could disentangle themselves.

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