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[winged-healer.livejournal.com]

Date: January 14, 2000
Setting: Tadfield Manor, Michael's Room
Status: Private - Raphael, Michael
Summary: Raph gets worried - and slides a few more notches down the ladder.



Raphael looked in the mirror at his reflection, trying to work up the nerve to do what he had to do. His arguments with Crowley and Pestilence simply went to prove that he had few, if any, allies in the entrapping mansion... save for one.

Michael.

Michael, he realized upon reflection, could be his answer. The angel was obsessed; and Raphael knew how far an obsessed lover could go. Frankie and Eliza were proof of that. Suffice it to say that he didn't actually feel anything for the angel; though he had to admit he was attractive, it did not go deeper. He did not love Michael...

But surely, it could not be so difficult to convince him that he did, not when Michael wanted to believe it.

Raphael wanted assurance, protection... the muscle he didn't have against the numerous supernatural entities he loathed. And Michael, once properly smitten and taken in, would do whatever he asked. Everybody implied that they were dating anyway. Nobody would find it amiss. And he would be safe with Michael as his shield.

His hair was shining perfectly, his robe was dazzling. He made sure to look slightly paler than normal, slightly more vulnerable.

He left his room, walked to Michael's and knocked on the door.

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[archangel-mike.livejournal.com]

Michael swallowed, firmly telling his mind not to get overly excited about this question, or the various images that rose into his mind at that. 'He's probably just tired and wants to sleep,' he told himself firmly. 'Emotional exhaustion does that to people.'

But was it really just that? Raphael didn't seem that sleepy in the end... But, on the other hand, he had broken off their kiss rather soon, like he didn't enjoy it. No, that surely couldn't be the reason. Raphael had said that he loved him, right?

Michael sighed. If his hands hadn't been currently occupied with holding Raphael, he most certainly would have run one of them through his hair. Or maybe not. Probably yes, though.

Just how was he supposed to take this? Raphael certainly didn't seem to mind being close to him, anything else. But the last time they'd been this close... That time, Raphael had suddenly become afraid, driving him away.

Raphael had been afraid, afraid of him. And, like he'd told Uriel, Michael didn't want that to happen, not ever. If a couple of kisses were enough to make Raphael freak out, just how would he react if Michael took that outwardly innocent question in the way he so desperately wanted to?

He hesitated for a while. He most certainly couldn't say no, not when he finally had Raphael there, right with him.

He was just about to decide that Raphael just wanted to sleep and opened his mouth to answer positively when he was hit by an overwhelming wave of curiosity. No, not curiosity; it was more like a desperate need to know. He had to know just how Raphael had meant that question. If Raphael truly loved him, surely he'd be forgiven even for asking such a stupid question.

Still, his mouth, which usually blurted out the most inappropriate things before his thoughts could get in the way, didn't seem to work. At last, however, he managed to get it cooperate.

"And -- and in what way do you mean that?" he asked, swallowing. It was only with a great effort that he could force himself to meet Raphael's eyes.

[winged-healer.livejournal.com]

Raphael was nervous, afraid that he'd betrayed himself, his stomach doing flips as he wondered how far he'd have to go and how much trouble he would be in if Michael found out. He was being utterly duplicitious...

But better to be in danger with a guard than not.

He just needed to make sure he kept it up, pulled him in, did whatever it took... to a point, of course, at least at first.

"I want to sleep with you beside me," he said, closing his eyes and rubbing Michael affectionately. "I want you to hold me, whisper me to sleep, be there when I wake up...

I want to be safe in your arms," he said, opening his eyes then reaching up and touching Michael's face.