[identity profile] deatheater-cook.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] neutral_omens
Time: Late afternoon, 25 July 2000
Place: The Manor Grounds
Status: Public
Summary: The Barbecue

Severus had prepared for this extensively, had done research as soon as he was told that he needed to provide food for a ‘barbecue’. Well, that was American, wasn’t it? A newly-published book titled The Great American Barbecue and Grilling Manual was his starting point. (The words ‘great’ and ‘American’ did not belong in the same sentence, although perhaps he might be mistaken, never having been to America.) After learning that this was not merely an American cuisine but a regional (Southern) American cuisine, he began to specialise. Having found a butcher to bring a pig and something to cook it over (yes, the whole pig, you dolt) he learned that it could have been done with a goat as it had been in the Caribbean, and with less effort.

Having put forth effort already, he pushed ahead. The intensive labour required to prepare food by the slow ‘barbecue’ method had been provided by Remus Lupin, although he surely did not understand when he volunteered exactly what it was he’d be doing. The butcher himself was also interested and so Snape had ‘invited’ him to come and help. Work for the day, eat. Bring your family with you and they can help and eat also. Only if they help. Severus’ labour shortage crisis solved.

The whole concept of barbecue sauce was confusing, so he’d made three kinds. Two for public consumption—a South Carolina style with mustard, vinegar and black pepper that seemed reasonable enough. Kansas City style that was thick, red-brown, and gloppy, made with a tomato base and molasses. The third was for Crowley, a Texas-style sauce amusingly named ‘Devil’s Spit’ made from a tomato base with cumin and hot chiles. These American chiles being unavailable, he procured an Oriental variety that were infinitely hotter. Let him call that bland.

Chicken would go on, although not for as long as the blasted pig, and sausages for the unadventurous. The Brunswick Stew might end up in the restaurant under ‘American Cuisine’. It was simple enough, with a tomato base, lima beans (or any beans), corn, other vegetables, and meat. Traditionally rabbit or squirrel but he could use leftover pork, chicken, beef or even cut-up sausages. Basically, a fine way to rid himself of leftover almost anything and he revised his opinion of American ingenuity. The true test would be Crowley’s opinion. If he disapproved, it was definitely going on the menu.

Okra and sweet potatoes proved impossible to procure. Field greens—of the turnip variety—were simple enough to cook in some of the extra pig fat. Black-eyed peas, which looked an awful lot like beans, with bacon. He made carrots in sauce of butter and brown sugar that seemed terribly French, but he simply shrugged. There would be green peas—not mushy, unfortunately, which would have made Crowley complain and Snape smile, a dish of fried apples that was a side dish, apparently popular with pork, and potato salad. It was a source of annoyance that the recipe he found for this called for red potatoes that did not need to be peeled. How brilliant would it have been to set Lupin to peeling potatoes for his own requested potato salad?

Cornbread was simple enough to make, although all the different names and types confused him. The concept of beaten biscuits was repulsive so he settled on cheddar biscuits instead. American biscuits, he found, were a bread roll that seemed a bizarre combination of bap, scone, and crumpet. But they were a Southern staple and very simple to make. Devilled eggs—also simple, seemingly French—were another extra dish along with pickles of varied types. He refused to make grits—porridge was bad enough at breakfast and he would certainly not serve it in any other time.

Cold tea, sweet, with or without lemon was also a disgusting concept. Lemonade, if people wished to drink it. Lupin had to deal with squeezing the lemons, too. He had procured some Bourbon and Belial would, he imagined, not object if any leftover made its way to the bar. Mint juleps required it. Mint grew in the garden and sugar was a staple.

Having no sweet potatoes with which to make sweet potato pie, which seemed unpleasant anyway, he went with pecan pie. It was too sweet, but someone would eat it. Pound cake with whipped cream (another job for Lupin) and blackberry cobbler, which was enough like local fare for people to be willing to eat it. If he could have found watermelon, that would have been amusing. But messy, so just as well he hadn’t found it.

All in all, it was a great effort on his part, slave labour or no, and people had better appreciate it else he would be extremely put out.

"Let Wensleydale handle things in the kitchen, Lupin. The butcher will take care of serving the meat. You can clear plates and make sure the dishes are all filled." He had planned this. "The butcher's wife can help with drinks. The children have been disposed of."

Out of the way, nothing more sinister. Eating now, washing dishes later. Work for food, and a good trade on his part.

"Keep an eye on the biscuits, Wensleydale, and see that they don't burn. And make sure there is plenty of ice."

He turned.

"No, mint juleps are not sweets, get away from me, you silly child." Weren't they supposed to be on the far side of the lawn, eating their supper?

Attention Edit: As of this point the Devil's Spit sauce is no longer on the serving table but in Snape's hands, doled out by him. Please do not have your character get into it.

Date: 2006-08-11 03:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bullfightposter.livejournal.com
"Um, but everything else was right on. I just never heard about... flapper dresses."

Date: 2006-08-11 08:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radishesncorks.livejournal.com
"Well, he wasn't wearing one the last few times I saw him, but that might have been because he was working, you know? Apparently he's the chef's assistant."

Date: 2006-08-12 08:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radishesncorks.livejournal.com
"Well, I must say that he was the perfect gentleman. Dancing with him was fun."

Date: 2006-08-12 10:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bullfightposter.livejournal.com
"But that's not fair," Brian muttered to himself.

HE'D never seen Wens in a flapper gown. That would have been hilarious!

...and legs.

Date: 2006-08-12 02:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radishesncorks.livejournal.com
"Did you say something?" Luna leaned forward to hear Brian better.

Date: 2006-08-12 06:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bullfightposter.livejournal.com
"I said it wasn't fair," Brian said honestly.

Date: 2006-08-13 05:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radishesncorks.livejournal.com
"Life's not fair at all. Nothing really is, but somehow it works out in the end." Luna had no idea that Brian was referring her being able to see Wensley in a flapper dress. "Would you like a mint julep?"

Date: 2006-08-13 05:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bullfightposter.livejournal.com
"Yes. I would like a mint julep," Brian decided. He'd ask Wens about the flapper dress later-- at least he could still tease him.

Date: 2006-08-13 08:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radishesncorks.livejournal.com
"Mobilivas!" Two glasses slowly hovered towards Luna and Brian, nearly full to the brim. Luna tucked her wand back behind her ear and plucked a glass out of mid-air.

Date: 2006-08-13 10:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radishesncorks.livejournal.com
Luna looked at Brian, uncomprehending. Then, "Oh! You're a Muggle!"

"It's magic. You know, witches and wizards?"

Date: 2006-08-13 07:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bullfightposter.livejournal.com
"...oh," said Brian. "Anathema was a witch and she didnt' do that."

Date: 2006-08-15 12:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radishesncorks.livejournal.com
"...maybe she just didn't want to alarm you?" Luna had heard of some witches and wizards who advocated such methods when dealing with Muggles; perhaps she was one of these? That would explain her not using magic to help that girl earlier as well. Luna thought that the Squib-denial might be a better explanation though.

Date: 2006-08-15 06:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bullfightposter.livejournal.com
"Maybe," Brian said, wrinkling his nose. "I wouldn'ta been alarmed. Would've been wicked. ..she mostly was concerned with the whales'n stuff."
(deleted comment)

Date: 2006-08-16 03:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bullfightposter.livejournal.com
"Nnno? She's a witch."

Date: 2006-08-16 03:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radishesncorks.livejournal.com
"Whales... No I can't say that I've ever heard of them. Why was she so concerned about these 'whales' anyway?"

Date: 2006-08-16 03:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bullfightposter.livejournal.com
"Cos they were being hunted to 'xtinction," Brian said primly.

Date: 2006-08-16 03:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radishesncorks.livejournal.com
"Ah. Well, that is something to be concerned about. I myself am concerned about Crumple-Horned Snorkacks, amongst other animals." A pause. "They're very rare," Luna continued, by way of explanation.

Date: 2006-08-16 03:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bullfightposter.livejournal.com
"I've never heard of THOSE," Brian said, just to even things up. Something seemed to be going on-- a bit of a flurry over there. He turned- "...was that Pep? Sorry, I've got to go."

Date: 2006-08-16 04:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radishesncorks.livejournal.com
"Oh. Alright then," Luna smiled.

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