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neutral_omensTime: Late afternoon, 25 July 2000
Place: The Manor Grounds
Status: Public
Summary: The Barbecue
Severus had prepared for this extensively, had done research as soon as he was told that he needed to provide food for a ‘barbecue’. Well, that was American, wasn’t it? A newly-published book titled The Great American Barbecue and Grilling Manual was his starting point. (The words ‘great’ and ‘American’ did not belong in the same sentence, although perhaps he might be mistaken, never having been to America.) After learning that this was not merely an American cuisine but a regional (Southern) American cuisine, he began to specialise. Having found a butcher to bring a pig and something to cook it over (yes, the whole pig, you dolt) he learned that it could have been done with a goat as it had been in the Caribbean, and with less effort.
Having put forth effort already, he pushed ahead. The intensive labour required to prepare food by the slow ‘barbecue’ method had been provided by Remus Lupin, although he surely did not understand when he volunteered exactly what it was he’d be doing. The butcher himself was also interested and so Snape had ‘invited’ him to come and help. Work for the day, eat. Bring your family with you and they can help and eat also. Only if they help. Severus’ labour shortage crisis solved.
The whole concept of barbecue sauce was confusing, so he’d made three kinds. Two for public consumption—a South Carolina style with mustard, vinegar and black pepper that seemed reasonable enough. Kansas City style that was thick, red-brown, and gloppy, made with a tomato base and molasses. The third was for Crowley, a Texas-style sauce amusingly named ‘Devil’s Spit’ made from a tomato base with cumin and hot chiles. These American chiles being unavailable, he procured an Oriental variety that were infinitely hotter. Let him call that bland.
Chicken would go on, although not for as long as the blasted pig, and sausages for the unadventurous. The Brunswick Stew might end up in the restaurant under ‘American Cuisine’. It was simple enough, with a tomato base, lima beans (or any beans), corn, other vegetables, and meat. Traditionally rabbit or squirrel but he could use leftover pork, chicken, beef or even cut-up sausages. Basically, a fine way to rid himself of leftover almost anything and he revised his opinion of American ingenuity. The true test would be Crowley’s opinion. If he disapproved, it was definitely going on the menu.
Okra and sweet potatoes proved impossible to procure. Field greens—of the turnip variety—were simple enough to cook in some of the extra pig fat. Black-eyed peas, which looked an awful lot like beans, with bacon. He made carrots in sauce of butter and brown sugar that seemed terribly French, but he simply shrugged. There would be green peas—not mushy, unfortunately, which would have made Crowley complain and Snape smile, a dish of fried apples that was a side dish, apparently popular with pork, and potato salad. It was a source of annoyance that the recipe he found for this called for red potatoes that did not need to be peeled. How brilliant would it have been to set Lupin to peeling potatoes for his own requested potato salad?
Cornbread was simple enough to make, although all the different names and types confused him. The concept of beaten biscuits was repulsive so he settled on cheddar biscuits instead. American biscuits, he found, were a bread roll that seemed a bizarre combination of bap, scone, and crumpet. But they were a Southern staple and very simple to make. Devilled eggs—also simple, seemingly French—were another extra dish along with pickles of varied types. He refused to make grits—porridge was bad enough at breakfast and he would certainly not serve it in any other time.
Cold tea, sweet, with or without lemon was also a disgusting concept. Lemonade, if people wished to drink it. Lupin had to deal with squeezing the lemons, too. He had procured some Bourbon and Belial would, he imagined, not object if any leftover made its way to the bar. Mint juleps required it. Mint grew in the garden and sugar was a staple.
Having no sweet potatoes with which to make sweet potato pie, which seemed unpleasant anyway, he went with pecan pie. It was too sweet, but someone would eat it. Pound cake with whipped cream (another job for Lupin) and blackberry cobbler, which was enough like local fare for people to be willing to eat it. If he could have found watermelon, that would have been amusing. But messy, so just as well he hadn’t found it.
All in all, it was a great effort on his part, slave labour or no, and people had better appreciate it else he would be extremely put out.
"Let Wensleydale handle things in the kitchen, Lupin. The butcher will take care of serving the meat. You can clear plates and make sure the dishes are all filled." He had planned this. "The butcher's wife can help with drinks. The children have been disposed of."
Out of the way, nothing more sinister. Eating now, washing dishes later. Work for food, and a good trade on his part.
"Keep an eye on the biscuits, Wensleydale, and see that they don't burn. And make sure there is plenty of ice."
He turned.
"No, mint juleps are not sweets, get away from me, you silly child." Weren't they supposed to be on the far side of the lawn, eating their supper?
Attention Edit: As of this point the Devil's Spit sauce is no longer on the serving table but in Snape's hands, doled out by him. Please do not have your character get into it.
Place: The Manor Grounds
Status: Public
Summary: The Barbecue
Severus had prepared for this extensively, had done research as soon as he was told that he needed to provide food for a ‘barbecue’. Well, that was American, wasn’t it? A newly-published book titled The Great American Barbecue and Grilling Manual was his starting point. (The words ‘great’ and ‘American’ did not belong in the same sentence, although perhaps he might be mistaken, never having been to America.) After learning that this was not merely an American cuisine but a regional (Southern) American cuisine, he began to specialise. Having found a butcher to bring a pig and something to cook it over (yes, the whole pig, you dolt) he learned that it could have been done with a goat as it had been in the Caribbean, and with less effort.
Having put forth effort already, he pushed ahead. The intensive labour required to prepare food by the slow ‘barbecue’ method had been provided by Remus Lupin, although he surely did not understand when he volunteered exactly what it was he’d be doing. The butcher himself was also interested and so Snape had ‘invited’ him to come and help. Work for the day, eat. Bring your family with you and they can help and eat also. Only if they help. Severus’ labour shortage crisis solved.
The whole concept of barbecue sauce was confusing, so he’d made three kinds. Two for public consumption—a South Carolina style with mustard, vinegar and black pepper that seemed reasonable enough. Kansas City style that was thick, red-brown, and gloppy, made with a tomato base and molasses. The third was for Crowley, a Texas-style sauce amusingly named ‘Devil’s Spit’ made from a tomato base with cumin and hot chiles. These American chiles being unavailable, he procured an Oriental variety that were infinitely hotter. Let him call that bland.
Chicken would go on, although not for as long as the blasted pig, and sausages for the unadventurous. The Brunswick Stew might end up in the restaurant under ‘American Cuisine’. It was simple enough, with a tomato base, lima beans (or any beans), corn, other vegetables, and meat. Traditionally rabbit or squirrel but he could use leftover pork, chicken, beef or even cut-up sausages. Basically, a fine way to rid himself of leftover almost anything and he revised his opinion of American ingenuity. The true test would be Crowley’s opinion. If he disapproved, it was definitely going on the menu.
Okra and sweet potatoes proved impossible to procure. Field greens—of the turnip variety—were simple enough to cook in some of the extra pig fat. Black-eyed peas, which looked an awful lot like beans, with bacon. He made carrots in sauce of butter and brown sugar that seemed terribly French, but he simply shrugged. There would be green peas—not mushy, unfortunately, which would have made Crowley complain and Snape smile, a dish of fried apples that was a side dish, apparently popular with pork, and potato salad. It was a source of annoyance that the recipe he found for this called for red potatoes that did not need to be peeled. How brilliant would it have been to set Lupin to peeling potatoes for his own requested potato salad?
Cornbread was simple enough to make, although all the different names and types confused him. The concept of beaten biscuits was repulsive so he settled on cheddar biscuits instead. American biscuits, he found, were a bread roll that seemed a bizarre combination of bap, scone, and crumpet. But they were a Southern staple and very simple to make. Devilled eggs—also simple, seemingly French—were another extra dish along with pickles of varied types. He refused to make grits—porridge was bad enough at breakfast and he would certainly not serve it in any other time.
Cold tea, sweet, with or without lemon was also a disgusting concept. Lemonade, if people wished to drink it. Lupin had to deal with squeezing the lemons, too. He had procured some Bourbon and Belial would, he imagined, not object if any leftover made its way to the bar. Mint juleps required it. Mint grew in the garden and sugar was a staple.
Having no sweet potatoes with which to make sweet potato pie, which seemed unpleasant anyway, he went with pecan pie. It was too sweet, but someone would eat it. Pound cake with whipped cream (another job for Lupin) and blackberry cobbler, which was enough like local fare for people to be willing to eat it. If he could have found watermelon, that would have been amusing. But messy, so just as well he hadn’t found it.
All in all, it was a great effort on his part, slave labour or no, and people had better appreciate it else he would be extremely put out.
"Let Wensleydale handle things in the kitchen, Lupin. The butcher will take care of serving the meat. You can clear plates and make sure the dishes are all filled." He had planned this. "The butcher's wife can help with drinks. The children have been disposed of."
Out of the way, nothing more sinister. Eating now, washing dishes later. Work for food, and a good trade on his part.
"Keep an eye on the biscuits, Wensleydale, and see that they don't burn. And make sure there is plenty of ice."
He turned.
"No, mint juleps are not sweets, get away from me, you silly child." Weren't they supposed to be on the far side of the lawn, eating their supper?
Attention Edit: As of this point the Devil's Spit sauce is no longer on the serving table but in Snape's hands, doled out by him. Please do not have your character get into it.
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no subject
Date: 2006-08-06 07:34 pm (UTC)He smiled at what Mictain said about humanity, though. He may believe himself a demon, but at least he saw sense when it came to humans. "You have no idea how many creatures I've faced who have wanted to make humans their own," the Doctor said, rolling his eyes. "Aliens are forever trying to enslave them, and what's the point in that? They're much more interesting if you leave them be."
His slight smile widened into a full-on manic grin. "Oh, I've managed so far," he said. "No Antichrist, I'm afraid, just human companions and the occasional robot dog. I've never actually seen Armageddon, though. The event, I mean. Landed on a planet once called Armageddon." The Doctor shuddered, a little theatrically. "I am never going back there again." TARDIS permitting.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-06 07:51 pm (UTC)"If you enslave someone, you're responsible for them. And I would never want to be responsible for humans. In fact, I'd be perfectly happy if I never saw another human again. It's not that I hate them, really, just that they are usually nothing but trouble."
After a moment of thought, he said, "I might try to save the world from ending if I got the opportunity, though. Not to help humans, though, but to piss people off." Like Lucifer, for example. And almost every angel ever born.
His temper might have been a remain of his angelic self, but his thirst for vengeance had definitely increased.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-06 08:05 pm (UTC)He put his head on one side and shrugged. "As long as the world is saved," he said with a grin. "I don't mind the reason."
no subject
Date: 2006-08-06 08:28 pm (UTC)"We should work together, then," he suggested half-seriously. "As long as it pisses off certain people, I don't care what your motives are, either." And stopping the world from ending when it was supposed to was indeed likely to anger those people.
Besides, he could use an ally. One who was on his side for some reason other than fear, too. (Neville didn't count, really.)
no subject
Date: 2006-08-06 08:37 pm (UTC)"I think," he said slowly, "I'll take you up on that offer. I haven't pissed anyone off in a while," he added with a sly grin. "At least, not intentionally."
He held his hand out to Mictain again, this time not as an introduction but as a friend, ready to embark on some strange new business venture.
"One condition, though..."
He smiled. "I get to call you Mickey sometimes."
no subject
Date: 2006-08-06 08:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-06 08:47 pm (UTC)He shrugged. "Why not? Micky and E.T." He smiled and shook Mictain's hand. "Could almost be Starsky and Hutch! Or not..."
Inside his head, the TARDIS told him he was a good Time Lord for making new friends. He told her he knew.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-07 06:42 am (UTC)...Well. At least the Doctor was on his side until he found out just what he'd done to get kicked out. After that, he suspected, the alien would want nothing to do with him. It was okay, though. He was used to people abandoning him.
Still, he couldn't help but hope it wouldn't be like that this time.