[identity profile] deatheater-cook.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] neutral_omens
Time: Late afternoon, 25 July 2000
Place: The Manor Grounds
Status: Public
Summary: The Barbecue

Severus had prepared for this extensively, had done research as soon as he was told that he needed to provide food for a ‘barbecue’. Well, that was American, wasn’t it? A newly-published book titled The Great American Barbecue and Grilling Manual was his starting point. (The words ‘great’ and ‘American’ did not belong in the same sentence, although perhaps he might be mistaken, never having been to America.) After learning that this was not merely an American cuisine but a regional (Southern) American cuisine, he began to specialise. Having found a butcher to bring a pig and something to cook it over (yes, the whole pig, you dolt) he learned that it could have been done with a goat as it had been in the Caribbean, and with less effort.

Having put forth effort already, he pushed ahead. The intensive labour required to prepare food by the slow ‘barbecue’ method had been provided by Remus Lupin, although he surely did not understand when he volunteered exactly what it was he’d be doing. The butcher himself was also interested and so Snape had ‘invited’ him to come and help. Work for the day, eat. Bring your family with you and they can help and eat also. Only if they help. Severus’ labour shortage crisis solved.

The whole concept of barbecue sauce was confusing, so he’d made three kinds. Two for public consumption—a South Carolina style with mustard, vinegar and black pepper that seemed reasonable enough. Kansas City style that was thick, red-brown, and gloppy, made with a tomato base and molasses. The third was for Crowley, a Texas-style sauce amusingly named ‘Devil’s Spit’ made from a tomato base with cumin and hot chiles. These American chiles being unavailable, he procured an Oriental variety that were infinitely hotter. Let him call that bland.

Chicken would go on, although not for as long as the blasted pig, and sausages for the unadventurous. The Brunswick Stew might end up in the restaurant under ‘American Cuisine’. It was simple enough, with a tomato base, lima beans (or any beans), corn, other vegetables, and meat. Traditionally rabbit or squirrel but he could use leftover pork, chicken, beef or even cut-up sausages. Basically, a fine way to rid himself of leftover almost anything and he revised his opinion of American ingenuity. The true test would be Crowley’s opinion. If he disapproved, it was definitely going on the menu.

Okra and sweet potatoes proved impossible to procure. Field greens—of the turnip variety—were simple enough to cook in some of the extra pig fat. Black-eyed peas, which looked an awful lot like beans, with bacon. He made carrots in sauce of butter and brown sugar that seemed terribly French, but he simply shrugged. There would be green peas—not mushy, unfortunately, which would have made Crowley complain and Snape smile, a dish of fried apples that was a side dish, apparently popular with pork, and potato salad. It was a source of annoyance that the recipe he found for this called for red potatoes that did not need to be peeled. How brilliant would it have been to set Lupin to peeling potatoes for his own requested potato salad?

Cornbread was simple enough to make, although all the different names and types confused him. The concept of beaten biscuits was repulsive so he settled on cheddar biscuits instead. American biscuits, he found, were a bread roll that seemed a bizarre combination of bap, scone, and crumpet. But they were a Southern staple and very simple to make. Devilled eggs—also simple, seemingly French—were another extra dish along with pickles of varied types. He refused to make grits—porridge was bad enough at breakfast and he would certainly not serve it in any other time.

Cold tea, sweet, with or without lemon was also a disgusting concept. Lemonade, if people wished to drink it. Lupin had to deal with squeezing the lemons, too. He had procured some Bourbon and Belial would, he imagined, not object if any leftover made its way to the bar. Mint juleps required it. Mint grew in the garden and sugar was a staple.

Having no sweet potatoes with which to make sweet potato pie, which seemed unpleasant anyway, he went with pecan pie. It was too sweet, but someone would eat it. Pound cake with whipped cream (another job for Lupin) and blackberry cobbler, which was enough like local fare for people to be willing to eat it. If he could have found watermelon, that would have been amusing. But messy, so just as well he hadn’t found it.

All in all, it was a great effort on his part, slave labour or no, and people had better appreciate it else he would be extremely put out.

"Let Wensleydale handle things in the kitchen, Lupin. The butcher will take care of serving the meat. You can clear plates and make sure the dishes are all filled." He had planned this. "The butcher's wife can help with drinks. The children have been disposed of."

Out of the way, nothing more sinister. Eating now, washing dishes later. Work for food, and a good trade on his part.

"Keep an eye on the biscuits, Wensleydale, and see that they don't burn. And make sure there is plenty of ice."

He turned.

"No, mint juleps are not sweets, get away from me, you silly child." Weren't they supposed to be on the far side of the lawn, eating their supper?

Attention Edit: As of this point the Devil's Spit sauce is no longer on the serving table but in Snape's hands, doled out by him. Please do not have your character get into it.

Date: 2006-08-05 02:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bipolar-uriel.livejournal.com
"Yes, it is. Sorry." Uriel smiled apologetically. "I guess you'll just have to be patient, brother dear. You're free to try whenever it's kicking, though. Or even when it is."

Her smile faltered a bit, though. As much as she liked the fact that Loki was comfortable enough with her to actually feel her stomach, she couldn't help but wish that Pestilence had been there, too. He should have been the first one to feel it, to try to find the kicks of their baby, and --

No. Pestilence had given up all rights to her and her baby when he'd left her. Loki, however, was there now. She might not have a lover to share her news with, but she had a brother, and she was happy about that.

...Even if the brother himself still refused to admit the fact that they were indeed siblings.

Date: 2006-08-05 02:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leucemic-god.livejournal.com
Loki shot Uriel a glare at that address, but the offer was much too good to reject.

"I just wish the baby wasn't so 'angelic'." he said softly. "You should have picked a proper god to be its father."

Date: 2006-08-05 03:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bipolar-uriel.livejournal.com
Uriel blinked, then smiled. At least Loki didn't seem to be abot to reveal that the child's father wasn't an angel. "Well, the choices aren't that numerous for angels," she replied. "Affairs with those not of our kind are rather frowned upon -- well, anywhere but here, they are. And as I didn't meet him in the Manor..."

There were others around who might hear her, but that didn't matter. This should only lead them further from ever thinking that the real father might be Pestilence.

Date: 2006-08-05 03:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leucemic-god.livejournal.com
"So they dictate your sex-life as well, do they. Why am I not surprised?"

He lying might still be terrible in his opinion, but at least she had learned to respond to verbal clues. She wasn't nearly as good at it as Odin, but then she hadn't been playing grifts with him for centuries either.

"Now we should find you and the baby something healthy to eat." He nodded towards the table. "I'm afraid the choice doesn't look promising, though. It's mostly meat and all of it too fat."

Date: 2006-08-05 04:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bipolar-uriel.livejournal.com
Uriel shrugged. "Perhaps because you would believe anything negative of the Judeo-Christian pantheon? If I told you angels kill human babies and eat their flesh, you'd just tell me you knew it all along."

At his suggestion, though, she smiled. "That sounds like a very good idea. I'm starving, and so is the baby."

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Angels and demons / most people wouldn't believe / how great the sex is.

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