neutral_omens | (no subject)

Date: June 18, 2000
Setting: Behind the Greenhouse
Status: Private (Crowley, Ellie, possibly Aziraphale)
Summary: Crowley has some questions for the resident succubus

When Crowley awoke early from the afternoon nap he'd become accustomed to taking*, he was faintly annoyed. He could usually sleep as long as he wanted to and wake exactly when he wanted to. Why he couldn't this particular afternoon was a mystery. But after fifteen minutes of tossing and turning, he threw the covers back and got up. A quick glance at the clock told him that it was an hour until the angel could leave, so he stared in the mirror at his mussed hair trying to figure out how to kill the time. A look out the window seemed to indicate that it was a nice, clear, warm day and a walk in the greenhouse might help to clear his head, so he adjusted his clothes, fixed his hair, put on his sunglasses, and headed outside.

The greenhouse was much like it had been in January when he'd had his ill fated encounter with Michael and Raphael, but a lot had happened since then. Still, the plants were thriving with all the direct sunlight and he only had to water one or two of them to keep them from burning up. A tour of the glass room took him to the back door and he opened it just out of curiosity to see where it led. He was rewarded for it, too, because there was a half-asleep Ellie sunning herself in a secluded little clearing wearing nothing but a scrap of fabric below her waist.

With a grin, Crowley sat down on the fluffy towel beside her.

"Hey, Ellie. Good to see you. You know, I'm glad you're here. I've been meaning to ask you about a couple of things. You wouldn't know anything about a black kitten with a white paw, would you?"

He spoke quickly, smiling, hoping she'd be lured into saying something because she was confused and drowsy. If she didn't, it was no big deal, but he couldn't pass up the advantage. He was a demon, after all.

*There being really nothing else to do around the Manor until Aziraphale got off of work.

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"It cost me dearly, but yes." Ellie wrinkled her nose at the memory of that transaction. "I think it can be arranged." She let her head drop back and relaxed. "Think finding that out will lead anywhere useful?"

"I'm not even going to ask," said Crowley, catching her expression. Then he sighed. "I don't know. There's a pattern here, but I'm just not seeing all of it. It's like a puzzle that has some of the middle filled in, but I can't find the edges yet. Might help to have more of the pieces.

"I did trace my side from Michael, to Gabriel, to the Metatron, but the tiny moron left before I knew and I never got the chance to question him about where he got the orders from. He's not bright enough to think of it himself, and like I told Gabriel, if He wanted me gone, I'd be gone. So who does that leave? Maybe if I know who told Ligur to do it I can find the connection I'm missing. And if not, well, it should be amusing at any rate."

"Well the last I remember, the Metatron only takes orders from one place," Ellie said slowly, frowning. "So if He didn't want you gone, maybe He was after something else? I don't know, I never really understood how the higher eschelons worked Up There even in the old days. Ligur, though, he'd probably accept orders from an imp if it was intimidating enough. That line of inquiry's liable to take you on a merry chase."

He had to grin at the image of Ligur taking orders from a particularly intimidating imp. "I don't care where it leads," said Crowley, "so long as it leads somewhere. I want answers and I'm willing to take my time to get them. There's something suspicious going on and I want to know what it is."

Then he grew thoughful, bending one knee to bring up a leg. "And I know the Metatron only takes orders from Him, but he's also a moron. It wouldn't be hard to trick him, I think, and I wouldn't be surprised if that turned out to be the case. I don't accept that it's just Him doing his little mind-fuck thing. Not if it's my and Aziraphale's arses directly on the line."

Ellie wondered whether that meant Crowley couldn't believe He was capable of that level of callousness (surely he knew better?) or if he was simply choosing to disregard a possibility he didn't like. It also occurred to her to ask where Crowley and Aziraphale would be and what they would be doing right now if they had never been attacked, but that line of questioning could be taken to imply a degree of faith or trust in the Plan that she didn't feel, so she didn't.

"Well if you do figure it out, let me know. I wouldn't mind giving whoever was behind it a piece of my mind too. After you're finished with them, of course."

"If you're interested in yelling at unidentifiable bits, then you're more than welcome to give them a piece of your mind when I'm done," replied Crowley far more smugly than he felt.

He didn't know what he'd do if the trail went back to someone like Beelzebub or Lucifer on Hell's side or God on Heaven's. It said something about his time at the Manor, though, that Crowley was no longer afraid of the archangels and their significantly greater powers. Sure, they could flatten him with nothing more than a thought, but only one had tried it and felt guilty enough to heal him afterwards. He didn't think Gabriel or Uriel would do the same unless it was in self-defense or in the defense of others and he didn't plan on doing anything to make them react.

Still, all he could do for now was gather the pieces and see where the picture led.

"Having fun?" Aziraphale's unmistakeable tones inquired, somewhere near Crowley's right ear.

He'd crept up on the unsuspecting duo, looking far too relaxed in the afternoon sunshine to be allowed. Aziraphale straightened up from his crouched position to glance at Ellie.

"Hello, my dear," he added, touching his forehead reflexively as if to touch his cap to her. "We need to stop meeting like this," he told her gravely in his English voice. "Well, you, ah, unclothed with Crowley here, partially unclothed. Those are quite nice trousers, love."

He stood up, surveying their faces. "My, don't you both look suddenly guilty. I was only teasing, you know. What on earth were you so intently discussing out here that you didn't even notice my approach? I'm not precisely subtle. Indeed, I tripped over that bush over there and nearly dropped dearest-" he reached inside his own jacket, where one hand was cradling the dozing kitten, and pulled "-Chicago."

"You know," the angel continued, gazing up at the sky as he cradled the purring animal, "any other succubus, or any other demon that I found together like this I'd be slightly worried." He smiled, pausing and allowing them to compose themselves as they saw fit. "I can't tell if this says more about me or you two."

Ellie shot upright with an undignified squeak at the sound of the angel's voice, and felt her face redden at his teasing implications. Not least because they would have been absolutely accurate, under just about any other circumstances.

"If we were any other demon and succubus, I'd say you would have other things to worry about than our state of dress. Clearly, I need to find a new place to sunbathe," she grumbled, crossing her arms rather pointlessly across her bare breasts. She still hadn't worked out why Aziraphale, of all people, brought out what little modesty she possessed when his partner seemed to have precisely the opposite effect, but it was bloody annoying when the two of them were in the same general vicinity. "There's altogether too much traffic back here lately.

"And we were talking about pets, actually. Hello, Chicago," she added, smiling at the tiny purring fluffball the angel held. Clearly she'd made herself right at home with her unlikely pair of new roommates.