(no subject)

[ineffable-angel.livejournal.com]

Date: May 14, 2000
Setting: Front desk
Status: Private - Crowley, Aziraphale
Summary: Aziraphale is getting restless.






The thing was, Aziraphale was tired. He was exhausted of pushing paper and writing notes, performing only the barest miracles and human interaction at a minimum. He missed his old life (not that this one didn't have his perks) where he got to go out and have delicious food prepared by internationally famous chefs with expensive wines and Crowley's drunken company. He thought of their philosophical conversations that let him lay worries and fears out in a roundabout way, holes in his belief, and replenish that faith, and the angel realized, suddenly, how much he did miss them.

The Manor was becoming too familiar, and Aziraphale itched to leave, go out and have fun. He was finished in four minutes, exactly, and it would be easy to go and ask Crowley about the possibility of reenacting their old habits and finding new haunts. Aziraphale didn't even know the names of the pubs in Tadfield, after all. It was a tragedy.

Comments

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

Crowley laughed. "Since when did you start picking up on subtext? I could have teased you for days on that one..."

[ineffable-angel.livejournal.com]

"I read." The angel smiled. "One sort of has to, in my business. Although perhaps the question is, 'What have I been reading lately'?"

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

A raised eyebrow with maybe just the hint of innuendo-laden smirk. "Oh yes? What have you been reading lately?"

[ineffable-angel.livejournal.com]

"We are not nearly drunk enough for this conversation," Aziraphale told him primly.

"Although, and I will say this, for what used to be a Satanic hospital, one must wonder at the nuns' choice in reading material... ? Really, my dear, is it all simply hyperbole?"

He was, of course, recurring to the very arcane texts of the sexual habits of demons. Inspired, possibly, by the legions of Incubae, or in several cases, Succubae?

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

Well this was a promising turn. Conversations that made Aziraphale turn that colour and demand alcohol were always amusing. Crowley drained his glass and refilled it. "I can try. Is what all hyperbole?"

[ineffable-angel.livejournal.com]

The angel drank another glass, too, then looked up at the question.

"Hmm?" he said, and then, "Er. Oh, it's, er..." He squeaked. "It's really, really... inappropriate, to discuss here, wouldn't you say?"

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

The demon's lips curled up provocatively. "No. I wouldn't say." Crowley didn't think that anything was inappropriate.

[ineffable-angel.livejournal.com]

Aziraphale sighed. "Of course, I should have known that... Well, there were some wonderful stories about snakes. Snake-demons, actually."

He looked askance at Crowley, and blurted, "Is it true about snakes?"

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

"Is what true?" asked Crowley exasperatedly. "I can't tell you unless you explain yourself."

[ineffable-angel.livejournal.com]

Bugger.

He hated being indiscreet. How on Earth had he got onto this subject anyway?

Aziraphale glanced at Crowley's waiting face, arms crossed, noting body expression. Waiting for his explanation. Impatient.

Bugger.

The tips of his ears were already bright red, his fair skin glowing. What else did he have to lose?*

"I- well you have to understand that these books are, rather, er... focussed on the anatomy of-" Bugger! "I just- er."

He cleared his throat and plunged on, gaze averted from Crowley's own. "Is it true that demons have two, ah, cocks? Snakes, er, the male ones... I mean, I didn't really buy into it, the other whole flaming sword phallic symbol literalization bit, fire being horrible and probably in so sensitive an area! But they just had a lot of, er... illustrations. For the snake thing. I would have, er, noticed, for you of course, but..."

The angel stared at the table. He was never going to live this down.

*Although commenting on, er, the subject of tonight's discussion may prove cataclysmic for the rest of the night's events, it was possibly really very difficult to destroy either of their libidos for long.

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

By the end of the speech, Crowley was laughing so hard he couldn't sit up straight.

"Kinky, angel," he managed. "Been feeling adventurousss, lately? Should I be flattered that you were looking me up? And down as the case may be?"

He chuckled. "But if you must know, snakes do have 'two, ah, cocks'. So, when I'm a snake, I do, too. They're internal when not in use, though, so you won't have seen them. As for demons, you know as well as I do that for us, size, shape, and composition, are simply options. I wouldn't doubt that someone, somewhere has experimented with it, but I don't think it's a trend. I've gotta see these books you've been reading, though."

Crowley leaned across the table and leered. "What would you say if I tried it now?"

[ineffable-angel.livejournal.com]

"Kinky? I am not-!" he broke off when Crowley - well, actually, there was no other word for it - leered at him.

Um.

"IthinkIreturnedmostofthemtothelibrary," he squeaked, realizing Crowley was waiting on an answer, and then cleared his throat. He hadn't heard anything that high since visiting the Vienna Boys Choir. "ButImayhaveafew." The angel coughed. "They were more lurid than anatomical, my dear."

Trouble concentrating. Far too many mental images. And damn that snake... thing!*

He sucked in a breath, trying to calm his half-humiliation, half-something entirely else. "I'd say I was quite happy with the current size and shape, actually," he murmured, refusing to look up. "Are- are we going to have s- dessert?"

Aziraphale wondered, momentarily, if it was possible to discorporate oneself out of embarrassment. He hoped not.


*While Aziraphale considered himself the vanilla sort of type, or chocolate, or whatever one called it, he also rather liked snakes. It was amazing to him that Crowley had yet to discover this, but sometimes Aziraphale was not so sure it was entirely secret.

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

"I want to sssee them," hissed Crowley happily. "And of course they're lurid. I'd be disappointed if you were looking up purely anatomical porn. That'd be like looking up 'penis' in the encyclopedia just for the titillation. We can find you much better stuff than that."

The demon grinned widely. Every male likes to know that his partner finds him adequate size-wise. "I was thinking both, actually. Posssibly at the sssame time. How about we get that cheesecake to go..."

[ineffable-angel.livejournal.com]

Aziraphale smiled tentatively back, entirely unsure of what he'd just gotten himself into. (Not that it could be anything bad, really. He trusted Crowley not to- well. They'd have fun, wouldn't they?)

He searched for words again. The word 'porn' had momentarily derailed his train of thought, which wasn't entirely solid on its rails to begin with. It was understandable, maybe, since he could count on one hand the times he'd heard that word said in his presence, and every single time with Crowley. (Damn him - or would that be a redundant statement?)

It took perhaps a moment for the angel to organize himself adequately, to yank himself out of his thoughts. "Chocolate sauce?" the angel came up with, and bit his lip. "Er, I mean, if it was possible... With the cheesecake. I wouldn't be too adverse."

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes. They'd have fun all right...

"I was thinking rassspberry," replied Crowley, grinning like the snake that got the cream, "but chocolate works too."

[ineffable-angel.livejournal.com]

Again he looked for words to say. Looked for them somewhere else than the inexorable twist to Crowley's mouth, that reminded him of all the things that demon could do with said mouth.

"...Both?" It was inaudible. He cleared his throat and tried again. "We could... chocolate and raspberry... but how do we- ? Um."

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

"How?" asked Crowley surprised. "Who knows? But it'll be fun to find out... Grab the waiter, angel, and let's go."

[ineffable-angel.livejournal.com]

Aziraphale hailed the waiter, a glimmer in his eyes as he asked the waiter if he would be a dear and fetch their dessert to go, chocolate and raspberry sauce drizzled on cheesecake, with a cherry or two on the side, and the cheque. The waiter, unused to having anyone under the age of fifty refer to him as 'dear', only gave Crowley the most quizzical of looks before dashing off.

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

Having his card ready when the waiter returned, Crowley "paid" in record time, snatched up the to go box, grabbed Aziraphale's wrist and pulled him to his feet. They were in the Bentley in seconds and hurtling down the road at great speed back to the Manor when Crowley suddenly pulled over and stopped the car in a remote location five minutes outside of town. He turned to the angel and smiled recklessly.

"C'mon."

[ineffable-angel.livejournal.com]

There would have been an inward thread of amusement glimmering through Aziraphale at the sheer speed of which Crowley could move if there was the possibility of sex in the air. Would have been, because as it happened Aziraphale wanted this just as badly and could care less about speed limits (although he kept his eyes open in case, miracles at the ready).

The angel looked down at the box in his hands, feeling the tips of his ears glow red. Not only sex, at that.

And then- and then the Bentley stopped, and Crowley was grinning at him, and Aziraphale realized that they were, possibly, in the most uninhabited place in England, and nowhere near the Manor or civilization, and- and stopped.

"...What?"

Shock. "You want- here?" Aziraphale asked, flabbergasted. He glanced around. "Well, I suppose..."

In the Bentley itself? Not that Aziraphale was complaining, not in the least! but the chocolate syrup, on the seats, and...

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

Crowley's eyes went wide. "Not in the Bentley...! Over there."

He pointed to a ridge nearby. On the far side was an empty field where they wouldn't be visible from the road if anyone did happen to drive by. Not that the demon would mind if they were seen, being a terrible exhibitionist, but he figured Aziraphale would, unless he was even kinkier than he'd admitted to already. Nearly hauling the angel out of the car bodily, heart pounding with excitement, he dragged him to the area, miracled a soft blanket and flopped onto it, casually inviting Aziraphale to join him with a come-hither smile.

[ineffable-angel.livejournal.com]

Of course.

There was more than a hint of a smile as Crowley nearly dragged him over...

"Oh..." the angel whispered, answering the unspoken invitation even as his knees fell to the soft blanket (which changed to tartan seamlessly), one on each side of Crowley's left leg, and leaned forward, putting one hand down for balance as he kissed him, tilting Crowley's head back and threaded the fingers of his other hand in Crowley's soft dark hair, feeling hard, reassuring bone underneath. The cheesecake and its requisite sauces mysteriously ended up on the edge of the blanket, in full reach.

"Did you, er, have a particular way you wanted to- mmhmm?" Aziraphale mumbled between kisses, raising his eyebrows at Crowley and trying to indicate the - mmmmmm - situation.

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah. He had a particular way he wanted to mmhmm.

Moaning, Crowley arched underneath Aziraphale and rolled them both over so that he could be on top. As he did so, the blanket turned a deep solid blue, the angel's designer shirt, tie, sweater vest, and jacket disappeared, and the small container of raspberry sauce was in his hand. The demon opened the container and began to drizzle the tart sauce all over the bare chest and abdomen beneath him. What he drew with it definitely wasn't a smiley face.

At any rate, when his masterpiece was done, he set aside the sauce and began to trace the lines with his tongue, pinning Aziraphale's hips with his own.

[ineffable-angel.livejournal.com]

He shivered, sensitive, under the ticklish drizzle of the sauce, watching Crowley's intense yellow eyes carefully plan his design

"An apple?" Aziraphale asked, raising himself up on his elbows and peering down. "How..." Aziraphale's breath caught as there was special attention paid to a very sensitive spot- "...ineffable."

The slick slide of tongue made it hard for him to think. Or speak. Moaning, however, he could do, and did, hands fisting in the (tartan again*) blanket. "Crowley."

*It was a blue tartan, though. Deep blue. The lines crossing it weren't even that noticeable.

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

Crowley arched an eyebrow.

"Angel, if you think that's an apple, then you should get a prescription for those glasses of yours. It's delicious, though. Gives a whole new meaning to sucking cock."

He brought his hands down to rest on the blanket and as he did so, the lines slid off the sides and ran off into the grass* leaving it just blue once again. The demon redoubled his efforts, trying to get Aziraphale to moan his name like that again. These were the moments he really savoured.

*As it turned out, the escaped lines moved off and began mating as well. From then on, in that part of England, there was always a wild line population, but as they didn't appear to eat anything and didn't get in anyone's way, no one minded.