(no subject)

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

Date: March 25, 2000
Setting: Raphael's Room
Status: Crowley and Raphael
Summary: Crowley wants to know what happened.

That afternoon, Aziraphale did return to their room to tell Crowley what he had learned about Mictain being exiled because of Raphael. Crowley swore softly under his breath and wondered what to do next. He felt sort of responsible for Mictain, having claimed his Fall, and reluctantly decided that that meant he ought to figure out what had happened.

Knowing that Adam wouldn't tell him, he made his way to Raphael's room and knocked softly. So tired of fighting, Crowley decided he'd do his level best not to. If nothing else it would make Aziraphale happy.

Comments

[winged-healer.livejournal.com]

Raphael barely heard the knock when it came - it was soft and he was still groggy, having only recently woken up from sleeping. He hesitated a few moments since he didn't really want to see anybody. But it might be important (though the knocking didn't seem urgent) and he ought to at least see who it was.

He opened the door just slightly and peered out. When he saw the familiar yellow, slitted eyes of the demon, he stumbled backwards, afraid of an attack or possibly discorporation - depending how long he held a grudge.

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

Startled by the angel's reaction (an archangel seemingly afraid of him?), Crowley took up an intentionally casual stance against the door frame and put his hands in his pockets. He spoke calmly.

"Hey, Raphael. How's it going?"

[winged-healer.livejournal.com]

For a moment, Raphael stared at him with an open mouth and nearly replied. Then however he closed it and shook his head 'no,' backing away from the demon another step or two. He remembered the last few times they'd interacted and intentionally dampened his halo when he thought about it.

He didn't want anything to be his fault, no more things to be his fault. An unbidden memory of the last time a demon had come into his room sprang up and he shuddered but didn't react otherwise, with either a spike in aura or a reply.

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

Raphael was acting very oddly. He looked as nervous as a feral cat. Something was definitely wrong. Crowley raised his hands but didn't try to take a step inside.

"Look. I'm not here to start anything. I just wanted to talk. That's all. Rumour has it that Mictain is gone and I thought you might know why."

[winged-healer.livejournal.com]

At the sound of Mictain's name, Raphael's eyes widened. He shook his head more vigorously and backed away further. With a rapid motion, he pulled a blanket off of the bed (he'd made a nest of them since the incident and his more frequent sleeping habit) and wrapped it around himself. Barrier. He needed a barrier between him and the demon, barriers made it harder and don't go near the bed, nowhere near the bed...

You should have thought twice before toying with a demon

Instead he went for the large easy chair where he read his articles and pulled his knees to his chest so that he was entirely on the cushion. His body convulsed but he couldn't take his eyes off the demon, had to watch him, his every move, hope for Adam if anything went wrong, watch to see.

Beneath the blanket he felt cold and clammy.

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

This encounter was getting more and more disturbing by the moment. The angel hadn't said a word yet and was acting extremely defensively. After the incident with the halo, Raphael must have known that he could take on Crowley. Why was he acting so frightened of him? Crowley was just a lower ranking demon. Just like Mictain...

Shit, he thought. Mictain did something to him and now he's terrified of demons.

Deciding to test his theory, he stepped cautiously into the room and walked a few paces towards Raphael. He left the door open behind him so that anyone passing by could see that there was nothing untoward going on. That molestation accusation still bothered him greatly, though he'd never admit it to anyone.

"Is it true that he's gone from the Manor and can't return?"

[winged-healer.livejournal.com]

The room was dark (for he slept more now and felt safer hiding in shadows) but the hallway was lit and Crowley showed up as a silhouette walked softly towards him. For a moment Raphael was relieved that he did not make an effort, certain that his body would have betrayed him and let itself go in its terror. He pulled the blanket tighter.

When Crowley asked him if it was true, he blushed shamefully red and nodded just once. He was a good angel now though. It was true Mictain was gone, true that he'd been provoked, but Raphael wasn't going to do that again, not to another, never ever. He wouldn't antagonize.

He was a good angel.

Feeling nauseous and stricken he curled up tighter and swore he could hear his heart pounding in his ears.

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

Okay, Raphael wasn't speaking, was clearly terrified, and had indicated that Mictain was gone. So what was the problem? Well, what was Raphael's problem? Mictain probably had a whole new set of problems outside of Adam's protection, but Crowley wasn't going to think about that right now. He had no idea what Lucifer had in store for the former Michael, but it wasn't going to be good.

There was something familiar about the angel, though, and Crowley watched him for a while in silence before he realized what it was. Raphael looked like the soldiers returning to Britain had after WWI. That empty look in his eye, the posture, everything. He clearly had shell shock or whatever the hell they were calling it these days. It made the demon wonder what he'd been through and if he'd talked to anybody about it. Fuck if he'd get involved, but he might mention it to Aziraphale...

At the moment, he was a bit lost, however. He wasn't very good at being comforting.

"Well, that's good, isn't it? One less demon around. Things might be a little quieter around here..." He managed to refrain from saying, 'without that smite happy, thick headed moron'. He really was trying.

[winged-healer.livejournal.com]

The silence between them felt like a chasm into which Raphael was frightened of falling. One wrong step, it was over. Breaking the silence was dangerous; he didn't dare.

When Crowley did his face contorted. There was one less demon, it was quieter, and it was his fault that there was one less, his fault that he was a demon in the first place, it all went back to him, every last part of it, pushing Michael down and down a path that led to...

He trembled and kept the thought from going to far. Try as he did, however, he couldn't keep himself from crying. He knew that when he did his face grew red and splotchy, and he was ashamed that Crowley would see.

So he pulled the covers over his head and pressed his face against his cloth covered arms, doing his best to stifle any sobs that might escape. The dreams he'd been trying to escape danced around the edges of his consciousness but he pushed them back as well as he could.

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

Shit, thought Crowley frantically. He couldn't tell for sure, but Raphael seemed to be crying and being discovered in a room with a crying archangel would not be good, he was certain. Tired of repercussions and politics, he just said, "Well, I can see that you're not looking for company, so I'll see you around. Ciao." And he walked out as quickly as he could while still looking cool, pulling the door closed behind him.

He really ought to go speak to Aziraphale about this...

[winged-healer.livejournal.com]

As soon as the door clicked shut, Raphael scrambled for the bottle on his nightstand. Crowley's comments led him to consider where Michael had gone to, where he'd had to have ended up, and the thoughts were ugly as they clawed at the back of his mind. He fumbled with the cap but managed to get it open and shook two out onto his palm before considering a moment and then adding another.

With a swift motion he swallowed them, then miracled a bottle of water which he drank. The empty container fell to the floor as he replaced the cap on the barbituates then climbed back onto the cushioned matress, waiting to fall asleep.