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[winged-healer.livejournal.com]

Date: January 23, 2000
Setting: Michael and Raphael's room
Status: Semi-Private - Gabriel, Raphael (Complete)
Summary: Gabriel comes to find out what happened and Raph gets to feeling rather guilty.



Raphael woke up in a bed feeling like he had a massive hangover and it took a few moments to register the fact that the sound which had woken him up was somebody knocking at the door. He shook his head to clear it and saw Michael smiling at him from the bedside, his eyes colored with concern. For a moment, Raphael wondered why he felt so utterly drained and exhausted.

Then the memory of what he'd done came rushing back and he bit his lip nervously. There was a good chance that whoever was knocking was pissed off and possibly demonic. Michael was there though and he supposed he ought to see what the being wanted, just in case.

"Come in!" He called before Michael had to get up to open the door.

Comments

[dontcallmegabby.livejournal.com]

Gabriel's expression remained quite neutral through the unstable tide of the other angel's emotions, the mask behind which his thoughts whirled with all the force of driving winds. The situation, for all its sobriety, still had the subtle, shifting air of something unreal, and he couldn't quite seem to comprehend all he was hearing. Yet one thing he was sure of was the wrenching in his gut at seeing two of his fellows caught in such a painful game.

He drew a deep breath, composing his thoughts and trying to keep his words from spilling forth too harshly. "Perhaps I've not been in your position, but Falling is not something any of us take lightly. And the truth of it is, Raphael, physical strength will make no difference in the end. There is only one who decides if you Fall, and He already sees what you're doing."

His eyes on the other were chill, unyielding, though Raphael had yet to meet the icy gaze. "Don't you think you should be honest with Michael, before you lose your chance?"

[winged-healer.livejournal.com]

"It's not that simple!" Raphael protested indignantly. Spot of red spread on his cheek as he grew more agitated, looking at Gabriel half angry half frightened. "And what do you mean by that, that 'He already sees' me? You I thought, of all beings..."

He turned away.

"He won't Fall. I won't Fall. It won't happen!!!! You understand?" He snapped, nearly yelling. "I merely... exaggerated. Blurred a few lines. It's not so bad.

I'd rather that than be alone. If loneliness and insecurity are a confession's only rewards - why should I say anything? Then he will be unhappy and I will be unsafe and neither of us would have a companion.

This way we both win. Sort of," he rationalized defiantly.

[dontcallmegabby.livejournal.com]

Raphael's eyes met his, startling in their honest emotion: a lucid mix of fear and anger, glittering, feral. Caged.

Gabriel rose when the other had turned from him, wondering how best to go about this. His words had obviously made some impression, or Raphael would not have reacted so, but some sordid reason still had hold in the other's thoughts. He realized there was little more progress to me made here; but though he'd made no explicit promises, he wondered if he shouldn't keep Raphael's secret, give the other a chance to seek his own forgiveness first. Although Gabriel didn't know how he would face Michael, knowing this twisted truth.

"I never said I wanted it to happen, Raphael." Since neither angel would meet the other's gaze, he spoke quietly, for all intensive purposes, to the floor at the foot of the other's bed. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't care. But I'm not so sure of your plan, and from the fear in your voice, I'd say neither are you. Just think about what you're doing; really think about it, and I think you'll come to a very different conclusion."

And then Gabriel turned away from his fellow, hanging hesitantly in the doorway for only a moment before closing it behind him.