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[winged-healer.livejournal.com]

Date: December 21, 1999
Status: Semi-Private (Complete)
Setting: The Bar
Summary: Raph goes and finds Aziraphale to get advice on making an effort.





Blushing, Raphael meandered around the mansion looking for his fellow angel Aziraphale. It was days after Gabriel had recommended that the two talk, but he was still nearly too ashamed and worried about the whole process to search Aziraphale out and ask such a favor. In the end, however, he got up the courage and started wondering just where he could find Aziraphale during the day. He didn't want to wait until evening - his nerve was rapidly disappearing so he wanted to act as quickly as possible.

Then he realized - the bar! The angel often seemed to be there for one reason or another. Alcohol was, he supposed, something one understood better when making an effort, just like... other things. So maybe that's why Aziraphale appreciated it so much.

Shyly, he walked into the bar and cleared his throat.

"Aziraphale?" He called softly, looking around and hoping the angel would be there.

Comments

[ineffable-angel.livejournal.com]

"Mm?" Aziraphale said, coming out of his reverie. He'd been staring aimlessly into a teacup, still full of (now cold) tea. He had been thinking... well, he'd been thinking quite a bit, mostly about Crowley, Belial, and Gabriel.

The angel twisted awkwardly on the high stool at the bar to face the archangel. Another one.

"Raphael?" he blinked. "Oh, it's only you. What, er, seems to be the matter? You aren't in charge of my reports..."

[winged-healer.livejournal.com]

He sighed and looked down.

"Yes," he mumbled. "Only me." He felt slightly hurt, but wasn't surprised. After all, unless someone was wounded, people didn't precisely need him for much; and angels needed him even less - in general - given their own personal healing abilities.

As he started to open his mouth again to voice his request, a blush started to spread across his cheeks and the tips of his ears. He nearly lost his ability to speak, so he began talking very quickly to get it all out before he changed his mind.

"Aziraphale, would you please help me at making and effort?" He blushed more fiercely and babbled "Not because I want to do something or anything like that but I thought it only fair and maybe I could give it a little chance but I've never done it before and I surely wouldn't want to mess something like that up and when I asked Gabriel he said that I should see you since you've done that and that you wouldn't tell Michael - you wounldn't, would you? - and that maybe I could try it for a few moments, just to see how it is..."

He coughed.

"Would you help me?" He asked quietly, his face thoroughly flushed.

[ineffable-angel.livejournal.com]

Aziraphale choked.

"Did I mishear you, dear Raphael? You want me to help you make an effort? You? But- but why?" the angel asked, bewildered. "More - more to the point, how? Couldn't I just, er, give you a book on it?"

[winged-healer.livejournal.com]

Raphael's face burned more fiercely and he looked away from the other angel, embarrassed. It was a bad idea from the start. He oughtn't have even brought it up. It was too late now to make it as though it hadn't happened, but at least he could keep it from going further.


"Never mind," he said softly. "I know what's in books. I'm a doctor. I know what goes where. I just didn't know quite... how. Like riding a bicycle or dancing, sometimes... books just aren't enough."

He took a few shamefaced, stumbling steps back away from Aziraphale.

"In any case, you're right, there's no reason why, really. I thought perhaps I should seeing as everyone else seems to find it... acceptable. Find out what the fuss is about. But really, it's not necessary, bad idea, I can get along just fine without anything. Just thought I'd see for myself, but really," he forced a laugh, "If I can go thousands of years why start now?"

He coughed then turned away, looking down at the floor, thoroughly mortified and wishing he could just disappear, away from the awkwardness. Perhaps he wasn't as ready as he'd believed.

"Just... forget I said anything," he mumbled. "I know you probably don't want to put up with explaining something like that to someone like me anyway, so it's fine, just pretend this didn't happen," he said, rushing his words in an effort to get away more quickly.

"Sorry for wasting your time," he murmured, feeling utterly humiliated and only glad that no one else was there to overhear him.

[ineffable-angel.livejournal.com]

"You're not wasting my time," Aziraphale said, large blue eyes fixed on the nervous archangel. "It's simply that I don't know how to help you, ah, make an effort. I mean, it just... happens. You do have to try and have a think about it, though," the angel said, blushing as he looked back into his teacup. "Concentrate, like. Er, as long as you're clear about your intentions."

[winged-healer.livejournal.com]

Raphael nodded, his mouth feeling dry. With difficulty he swallowed and nodded.

"Concentration and clarity. Very well. I can do that."

His blush worsened when he saw Aziraphale's and he simply couldn't remain.

"Since this is obviously causing embarrassment for both of us, I shall thank you and take my leave.

Good day."

He nodded then beat a hasty retreat back to his room.