(no subject)

[anathema-witch.livejournal.com]

Date: May 13 2001
Setting: Hopital wing.
Status: Private - Anathema, Gabriel, John, Loki (Is Adam and Sphix joining in? Is there anyone I forgot? Will edit later.)
Summary: Loki is told about the bone marrow transplant and Anathema and Gabriel start looking for donors. John gets a jab.




After quite a bit of research on the topic, and quite a few talks, it had been decided that the best way to treat Loki of the leukaemia was through a bone marrow transplant.

A few problems remained. One was telling Loki and getting him to agree with it. The God was stubborn as any man shaped being Anathema had ever met. Another was finding a donor that matched. Which could be hard without another God from the Norse pantheon running about, and even then it would be plain luck.

But still, there were quite a lot of people in the manor and if they were really lucky, one would be a good enough match to work with. It was just the problem of finding people who would be willing to give their marrow, and if Loki didn't want it, then there was going to be a lot more problems.

So, with much deliberation, Anathema set off to Loki's room determined to live through this day. She was going to try and convince Loki of going through with the operation.

Without it he would die. Maybe that woudl be enough of a push in the right direction. If not, Gabriel was there to help her.

Comments

[anathema-witch.livejournal.com]

"John! Good to see you. I was just going to tell Loki some news. It'd be nice to have some...support when I do." She may just need John's help in convincing Loki to go along with the treatment that could save the god's life.

She looked down to Loki. "Do you remember John? He's a friend of yours."

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

Loki looked at John pretending to try and remember something, but actually just to buy time. Was it wiser to tell the truth, even if it hurt and possibly alienated John, or to pretend that he recognised him and risk being caught in a lie.

"Maybe," he said. "I'm not sure. The clearest memories I have at the moment are from my childhood. Everything else is a bit ... blurry?" He thought it was a good not-quite-truth.

[dangeroushabits.livejournal.com]

John smiled ruefully. "Yeah, 'sall right. I know how it is. Give it some time, it'll come back to you." He (mostly) hoped that was true. "I just thought I'd drop by, see how you were doing."

He looked at Anathema questioningly. "News...?"

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

"Oh right," Loki remembered. "News. I thought you were going to give us breakfast."

His memory might be improving, but there was clearly still something wrong with his attention span.

[anathema-witch.livejournal.com]

"Well, you can have a bit of breakfast soon. I just thought that it might interest you, considering it might help get you out of this hospital bed. Well, given a bit of time that is."

Walking closer to the bed, she watched the rat for a bit, before looking into Loki's eyes. "There is a treatment to help get rid of the leukaemia. It won't necessarily be very comfortable, but it will help. It's called a bone marrow transplant. Do you know what that is?"

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

Loki shuddered. Yes, he knew what that was. He'd read about it, thought about it and realised that it was one step he couldn't take even if it were a guaranteed cure.

"That's out of the question," he said in a cold determined tone that Anathema had probably never heard from him before. This wasn't something he'd joke about.

[anathema-witch.livejournal.com]

"It's the only option this late that you have, Loki."

The tone of his voice was more serious than she had ever heard before. He was truly not wanting to do this, which made things hard, very hard.

She would probably need help in changing his mind.

If only there was another god of his pantheon here, maybe then he wouldn't refuse. But there wasn't.

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

"It isn't an option," Loki repeated. "We've discussed these things before."

Okay, so they'd actually only discussed blood transfusions and in Loki's mind this was even worse, but it was the same principle.

[anathema-witch.livejournal.com]

"It's the ONLY option Loki. I know you don't want blood transfusions and things like them, and this is like that, but it may be your only chance at beating the leukaemia. Don't you want to get rid of it? To win?"

She looked to John out of the corner of her eye, hoping the man got the hint and helped her out a bit.

[dangeroushabits.livejournal.com]

John shifted uncomfortably. His insistence that Loki should go through with the cursebreaking was a primary reason why Loki was now minus his memory, and had almost got several people killed to boot. And why should the god listen to someone he didn't even know he knew? Still, Ana knew her stuff, and if she said a transfusion was the only way, it's be plain stupid not to go ahead with it after so much trouble and risk had gone into getting Loki this far...

He cleared his throat. "I've talked to people who've had it done," he said reluctantly, remembering the cancer ward he'd visited. "It's not fun, but mebbe not as bad as it sounds." He cocked his head to one side as something else occurred to him. Just how much did Loki remember, at this point? "Or is that not the problem?" Transfusions between humans and immortals, as he had personal reason to know from an unrelated incident, could have all sorts of unforseen complications and consequences.

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

"I don't care about whether it's fun or not," Loki snapped at the man he still didn't really remember. "My blood would no longer be my own. Do you have any idea what blood means to us?"

These humans did not understand his culture. He wasn't completely sure what they were, but definitely not Norse. It was frightening that they didn't understand such basic concepts as the relevance of blood, though. Did they have any family ties at all?

[anathema-witch.livejournal.com]

"This probably wouldn't be a problem if Odin was still around, but he left..." she said under her breath, more to herself then the others in the room, but she understood what the problem was, or at least she thought she did. Loki didn't want to have a humans blood because it would be like tainting his own.

"Well, what if someone from your pantheon became....available? Would you do it then?"

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

Loki shook his head. "It's about my blood," he tried to explain. "The blood I share with my children. The blood I shared with Odin. I cannot accept breaking those ties."

It was surprising even to himself how much he felt defined by hose bonds, but that only proved that he was right not to want a stranger's blood in his veins.

[anathema-witch.livejournal.com]

Anathema winced. Yes she knew his ties to his family were important, but right now he was her patient and she wanted him to live. Was it selfish of her to push?

No, she didn't think Loki wanted to die. He wanted to get better and strong and find Odin again. He wanted to shapeshift into whatever he wanted and get up to the mischief he couldn't while stuck in a bed.

And right now his own blood was stopping him from being healthy, and from getting better. Because if he would allow someone who matches (if someone matched that is) he could recover fully given time, and he had plenty of that.

If he didn't die first that is.

"Loki...don't you think it would be unfair to your children if you just...wasted away in a bed without even trying?"

It was a cheap shot but she had read a bit about the Norse pantheon, and they liked their strength, in whatever form that took. And while Hel may be his daughter, she really didn't think he would want to meet her like this...sick and weak and dead.

"I thought your pantheon was strong..."

And that was seeming to hit below the belt. She cast a sideways glance to John before she looked back to Loki and hoped to at least begin to get somewhere with convincing him.

Go for his weaknesses, she thought and she frowned, thinking it completely unfair.

But she really didn't want Loki to die.

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

Loki laughed bitterly. "The only one of my children I've seen at all in centuries is Sleipnir and he's well cared for by Odin. Besides do you really think he'll give a damn about me, if we no longer share a blood connection?"

Actually Sleipnir probably would. He was no more intelligent than any other horse so the concept of exchanging a person's blood was not something that'd ever occur to him. It didn't matter, though, because the one deciding who Sleipnir associated with was Odin and there was no hiding something as big as this from him.

[anathema-witch.livejournal.com]

Anathema frowned, followed closely by letting out a long drawn sigh. "Fine. I get it. You really are weak, and you would prefer to die than live. I get it. Fine. Come on John, maybe it would be better to leave him in here on his own. Oh, and the rat...it really isn't exactly the best place for such a thing."

[dangeroushabits.livejournal.com]

For once, John was at a loss. How did you save someone who adamantly didn't want to be saved, a friend who didn't even know you were his friend? He could remind Loki about the debts he owed, but he wouldn't remember those either and had no reason to believe they actually existed. And there came a point where badgering a mate for his own good just started to get cruel.

"Look," he said finally, deciding to give it one last shot before he finally wrote Loki off as a lost cause, "you've got no reason to listen to me, so I won't blame you if you just tell me to bugger off. But I gotta tell you, Loki, if blood was the only thing that tied us to people, you'd already be dead. If it matters so much, it should be Odin standing here telling you to live, not Ana and me. And if you kick off because you wouldn't risk that bond, then it's Odin who's killed you, not the disease. Is that what you want us to tell him when he finally gets around to coming back for you?" He shrugged. "Besides, he was willing to make you his brother once, great bloody pain-in-the-arse that you are. What makes you think he wouldn't do it again?"

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

Now taking his rat away was just plain unfair, but then this kind of treatment wasn't unfamiliar and at least Loki hadn't bonded with the animal the way he once had with his children. Anathema wasn't Odin and she'd never be able to hurt him as much as Odin did.

John, though ... Well, at least Loki could follow the logic behind his argument. Yes, he supposed he would still have any friends he'd made in their culture, but he couldn't remember them at the moment, so how could he determine whether they could replace Odin and Sleipnir?

"Norse culture has no place for the sick and weak and that exchange of blood was a once in a lifetime opportunity. It binds Odin to me no matter what. He can't just change his mind about it, but if I show it so little respect to just throw it away, why should he offer me that chance again? It's not something you do lightly. I gave up my jotun kin by accepting that bond. By giving it up I'd be giving up my status as Aesir. Where else would I belong then? I'd be an outcast wherever I go."