(no subject)

[weary-justice.livejournal.com]

Date: December 4
Status: Private (Raguel, Uriel, Bast)
Setting: Uriel's room
Summary: Questions



Raguel passed the hours between dawn and evening by exploring the building, doing his best to stay clear of the other habitants for the time being. It was very strange to feel demonic and angelic presences existing together so, in such apparent complacence. He was well aware of the Antichrist’s rules regarding coexistence, but the underlying feelings of animosity were much less than what he had expected.

Strange too were the other presences in the manor; humans, so bright against his mind, the ‘gods’, more elusive and hard to pin-down, and the horsemen, dimmer still. Yes, even they were here. Raguel wondered what that meant.

At the appointed hour he came and stood in front of to the door to Uriel’s room.

Comments

[bipolar-uriel.livejournal.com]

Uriel had been waiting. Very woriedly waiting. She had no idea what the outcome of this conversation would be, but she knew it would be very important. Add this to Bran's little habit of abusing her insides, and she hadn't slept very well.

Nevertheless, she managed to force a smile onto her face as she went to the door at the correct time. A quite strained smile, yes, but still a smile.

"Right on time as always, I see, Raguel," she said as she opened the door. "Please, take a seat." She gestured towards a couple of chairs she had just miracled.

[first-catwoman.livejournal.com]

Bast slipped inside as Uriel opened the door, weaving around her ankles a couple of times, and purring reassuredly. Then the small brown feline took a few quick steps, leapt onto the bed, kneaded the pillow a couple of times, before sitting, sphynx-like on the bed, with bright eyes half closed, the tip of her tail twitching.

[weary-justice.livejournal.com]

"Thank you," Raguel answered, watching the little brown cat for a long moment before moving toward one of the chairs Uriel had indicated, although he waited for her to sit before settling his body into the chair and finding a seated balance.

"You know," he began, "that my presence here was ordered, and that I am obligated to report to our superiors. Whatever the outcome of this, it will not be my decision to make."

[bipolar-uriel.livejournal.com]

"I know that." Uriel nodded. "That's all there is, isn't it? Orders and obeying them." She couldn't entirely hide the slight bitterness in her tone. She, too, looked at Bast, grateful for the goddess's presence and desperately wishing Raguel wouldn't discover it. He hardly would be pleased.

[first-catwoman.livejournal.com]

Bast started to purr. She flicked one ear and behind stuck her little cat tougue out at him, making it look as though she was simply licking her lips before yawning, wide and needle-toothed.

[weary-justice.livejournal.com]

"What more do you wish?" Raguel asked, his tone one of mild surprise. "You and I are blessed as powerful instruments of the Divine Will. It is quite an encompassing 'all'.

[bipolar-uriel.livejournal.com]

"That's what I thought, too," Uriel said. "Then I arrived to this Manor and realized that things are not quite that simple." Under her breath she murmured, "Although I wouldn't really call it a blessing."

[weary-justice.livejournal.com]

"Perhaps if you no longer value what you are you should begin to reconsider your place in existence," Raguel snapped, all mildness abandoned. "You have come to one place on Earth, a place which I might remind you is under the control and influence of the Antichrist, and suddenly the purpose for which you were created and the honor in which you stand in His trust means nothing? Perhaps you should explain to me just what you do value, Uriel, because you are not encouraging me to view your situation in a favorable light."

[bipolar-uriel.livejournal.com]

"'Not everything' is not the same as 'nothing,'" Uriel replied. "And it's not just because I've come to the Manor. Since my arrival here, I have Felled the closest thing I had to a friend, got closer to successfully committing suicide than ever before in my numerous attempts, gained something to call a family, fallen in love, and got pregnant. I would be surprised if I wasn't affected in any way."

Tiny tears rose into her eyes. "What do I value? Him and His Presence, more than anything. But also the few people close to me." With a very quiet voice, she added, "For the first time I can remember, I actually value my own life, too."

[weary-justice.livejournal.com]

The frown on Raguel's face deepened, carving a place for itself on features which, despite their apparent age, were newly-made. But the flash in his eyes, whether anger or something else, faded away as quickly as it had come.

He sighed deeply. Strange to find even a small measure of relief in something so earthly. The body again; it nearly had a mind of its own.

"Michael," he said quietly, his cool gaze sliding away from Uriel's passionate one, and this time his thoughts were clear in his tone, infinitely sad. Michael’s loss had hit them all very hard; his Fall had been unbelievable, unthinkable. They were still reeling from it.

“I don’t know how much you’re aware of, being down here,” he said slowly. “But there is a great deal of fear in Heaven right now. With Michael gone and you and Gabriel adn the Metatron here, hardly in contact, things are disorderly and uncertain. I apologize if I am a little abrupt, but I too am very much concerned about the future, which seems more uncertain than ever now.”

He was silent for a long moment, the minutes stretching themselves out one after another. Finally his eyes twitched back up to hers.

((Just a reminder, if I say anything that doesn't work for you let me know and I'll change it. :D))
"Fallen in love?" he asked.

[bipolar-uriel.livejournal.com]

"Indeed, Michael," Uriel echoed, closing her eyes momentarily. It had been quite some time since her friend's Fall, now, but it still hurt. "I can only imagine how the residents of Heaven must have reacted."

She then raised an eyebrow. "Surely Raphael is in Heaven, now," she said. "Won't that calm people down? Or," she then continued, "are they perhaps afraid to trust him? He was the indirect cause of Michael's Fall, after all. Assuming anybody knows about it." She shrugged, then. "It's not like anybody's ever truly needed me before," she continued. "I doubt my presence in Heaven would make much of a difference, now."

At his question, she leant back in her chair, a hand over her stomach. "Yes, fallen in love. You do know what that means, don't you? Do not worry, however; he has left me and most likely will not return. He left behind only a child."

[weary-justice.livejournal.com]

"Raphael is only one of several," Raguel pointed out mildly. "I know most of what transpired in relation to Michael's Fall, although others perhaps do not know as much as I…. it is not deemed wise to dwell on it overmuch."

He frowned at her self-effacing comment.

"Uriel, you are an Archangel. Do not underestimate your importance, to individuals and to Heaven as a whole." He found himself leaning forward slightly, as though a change in physical presence would somehow establish a closer intimacy. "Our station sets us apart. You are not the only one who feels it. But some things are worth sacrificing for, are they not?" It was a genuine question, filled with more personal investment than anything he had said to her since his arrival on Earth, perhaps more than anything he has ever said to her since their creation. But he leant back again in a moment and the intimacy slipped away once more.

"I understand what it means for a human to fall in love. It is something of a surprise to see it manifested in such an earthly fashion by an angel. But you say he has left you? He did not return your feelings, perhaps. And what of the child? Does he know of it?"

((omg I'm so so sorry!!! Things kinda got away from me for a bit there. Plus Raguel is hard to write. Sorry!))

[bipolar-uriel.livejournal.com]

"If Raphael is only 'one of several,' what difference would Gabriel or I make?" Uriel asked. "Well, Gabriel might -- he, at least, is greatly respected. My only importance to Heaven and its angels is my task of Severing. Aside from it everybody either ignores me or is wary of me. I'd rather think my presence would only cause even more distress -- after such a long time spent here, I don't think the Host would think anything good of my sudden return. Rather they would start wondering who is to Fall next, as I have no other purpose."

She stroked gently her stomach, wishing she could touch the child within. "There are indeed things worth sacrificing for," she said quietly. "However, I am no more sure what I am supposed to sacrifice and for what. I haven't been in quite a while."

She then shook her head. "He does not know of the child," she replied. "And it's probably just as well that he doesn't."

((*huggles* No worries. The most important thing is, you replied in the end.))

[weary-justice.livejournal.com]

Raguel regarded her a long moment in silence, his gaze deep, as though weighing a question internally. Then he blinked and let the former subject drop.

“And the father is…?”

He wasn’t really sure what to do with his hands- they had been resting on his thighs, now he tried folding them, arranging the fingers as carefully as one might flowers in a vase.

((Thanks for understanding. :D))

[bipolar-uriel.livejournal.com]

Uriel gave him a challenging gaze. "Does it matter?" she asked, quite honestly wanting to know whether it did.

She would tell if pushed. After all, she couldn't lie, especially not to another angel. However, if the information wasn't quite necessary...

[weary-justice.livejournal.com]

"It matters," Raguel answered calmly. "The identity of the father effects the identity of the child, does it not? And if he should return, or learn of the child's existence? More than that it may be instrumental in understanding what has happened here."

He paused a long moment, then added honestly;

"I do wonder what sort of being could win such a love from you."

[bipolar-uriel.livejournal.com]

"And if I tell you, what will the consequences be for the father?" Uriel asked suspiciously. "I do know of previous cases of angels having children, and what was done to the fathers. I don't want anybody else hurt because of a mistake I made." Especially not Pestilence. Not the first being ever to make her happy, even if it was only for a short time.

[weary-justice.livejournal.com]

Something like understanding passed along Raguel’s face, settled in his eyes.

“I do not know,” he answered truthfully. “It will depend, I suppose, on who and what he is, although even then it will take some time to deliberate over the situation. All I can tell you is that it is generally agreed at the moment that past situations have been… poorly dealt with. It is hoped that this will be better handled.

“Well, then,” he continued. “Perhaps I should let you tell me the story, rather than taking it from you piecemeal. I simply wish to know how and when and why, in as much detail as you feel able. Later, perhaps, I shall ask for more.”

[bipolar-uriel.livejournal.com]

"Well..." Uriel bit her lip. It seemed it would be the best to indeed tell the story, aside from some details.

"I met him on Valentine's Day for the first time," she said. "Well, I'd met him before, but that was the first time ever I properly talked with him. We had quite a long conversation, and, well... I'm still not sure exactly what happened, but apparently I was somewhat manic at the moment, and... I slept with him." She did not look Raguel in the eye. She couldn't, not at the moment.

"The next day, however, I had forgotten everything. Apparently I suppressed the memory, too ashamed of myself to remember it. Aside from a brief confrontation, I didn't talk with him after that, until... until Michael Fell." Now, she closed her eyes, trying to keep her voice even. "In my pain, I... I attempted suicide. Of course I knew it wasn't right, but not feeling Him... Anyway, the Asgardian Odin saved my life, making me his blood brother."

Opening her eyes again, she still wouldn't look at the other angel. "After hearing of my... predicament, the father of my child approached me again. We talked some more, one thing led to another, and we became lovers. I really loved him, and I was convinced he loved me, too. He was even ready to confront Mictain for me, but it fortunately didn't lead to a fight." She smiled faintly at the memory of Pestilence defending her.

"Then, however, he just disappeared one day... And later, I received a letter from him, telling that he had not truly loved me but had seen his former lover in me instead. However upset I was, I managed to survive – much thanks to my brother. When Good Friday came around, however, I felt too lonely..."

She drew a deep breath. "As I was convinced he preferred women, I assumed a female shape and left the Manor in search of him. I indeed encountered him, and... well, we slept together."

She now managed to look at Raguel. "After that, I haven't heard of him, nor do I know his whereabouts. Soon after my last meeting with him, however, my body changed from its usual genderless shape into a female one without my approval, and Raphael's examination revealed that I was pregnant."

There. Hopefully that would suffice. Raguel might still ask her for the name, though...

((So, so sorry for not posting sooner, but... Well, it's been a while, and whenever I've been online I've always seemed too busy to dig up the whole story.))

[weary-justice.livejournal.com]

((Not at all! I kept you hanging for quite a while, and this post was a tall order. No worries!))

Raguel remained quiet and still, watching Uriel as she told her story. It was only when she raised her eyes at last to his that he, after a moment of meeting her gaze, looked away in turn.

He rose, conscious of the work of muscles against the pull of gravity and the... what was it that all physical objects had?... inertia of his seated body and walked slowly to the window. He looked out.

"And your feelings for him now?" he asked.

[bipolar-uriel.livejournal.com]

"I... I'm not sure," Uriel sighed. "I do know I loved him back then, but now... I just don't know. I still do like him, in a way, but I fear I've come to care for another person more." Was that bad? Or good? She had no idea.

[weary-justice.livejournal.com]

A muscle moved at the corner of Raguel's mouth, and he put up a hand and smoothed away his face's desire to betray his thoughts, although he did wonder what emotion it would have displayed had he allowed it.

"Another?" His voice wavered just a bit between the first and second syllables.

[bipolar-uriel.livejournal.com]

"Sad though it is, yes," Uriel replied. "Rest assured it will not lead to any kind of scandal, though, as he does not return my affections." Not that she knew of, anyway.

"Surely love is no sin?" she asked then, her voice wavering just a little bit. "As long as I love Him above anyone and anything else, is it not fine for me to love others as well?"

[weary-justice.livejournal.com]

Raguel paused a moment to consider the strange feeling that had been building in his stomach and chest. It was a sort of warm jumpy feeling, which had wanted to interfere with his breathing, but it died away as Uriel continued to sleep.

“No, love is not a sin,” he said solemnly. “But sometimes it can lead to sin; if Michael taught us anything; he taught us that.” He shook his head slowly. “But that is a morbid and rather unfitting example. I am certain that whatever comes of this it will not so much as approach that.” Though it was something to remember.

He gave her a sympathetic smile.

“I suppose that is enough for now. It isn’t as though we need press everything into a few short moments.”

[bipolar-uriel.livejournal.com]

((I assume you meant 'speak', not 'sleep'...))

"I do hope this will not lead to anything like Michael's," Uriel sighed. "It was bad enough bad then, to everyone."

She smiled in relief at Raguel's next comment. "Good."

[weary-justice.livejournal.com]

((Hehe. Yes.))

Raguel nodded noncommittally. "I will be seeing you," he said cooly. "May He bless you, Uriel."

[bipolar-uriel.livejournal.com]

Uriel nodded. "May the Presence be with you, Raguel," she responded.