(no subject)

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

Time: October 20, 2000
Place: The Stairs
Status: Public (Complete)
Summary: Maybe stopping to take those pills wasn't such a good idea after all...



Loki was feeling dizzy and weak. In fact he hadn't felt like getting out of bed at all this morning, but then he'd been spending too much time in bed lately and maybe a cold shower was just what he needed to get the blood circulating and give him some energy.

It hadn't worked, though, so he'd decided that he needed something to do. Maybe a few more books would help and walking up the stairs to the library would provide some much needed exercise.

That had been the theory anyway. After only a few steps however he had to stop to catch his breath. His knees felt weak and wobbly and he was considering sitting down for a while when suddenly he heard steps from above. He looked up and saw the very person he'd been trying to avoid most.

He forced himself to stand up straight and pretend that everything was fine. "John."

Comments

[dangeroushabits.livejournal.com]

John rubbed at his forehead, frowning thoughtfully. "Don't suppose good ol' Czernobog mentioned what class of curse it was, or what he did to try to lift it? It'd save some time if we knew."

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

Loki attempted to laugh. It didn't sound quite right.

"Czernobog had no idea what he'd done," he explained. "Was surprised it actually worked at all. And he wasn't the only one that tried. I've asked actual healing gods. It can't be lifted."

Definitely not by two humans no matter how cool John was.

[dontcallmegabby.livejournal.com]

Gabriel arched a brow coolly; the powers of the mortal pantheons had always seemed so scattered and sporadic that he wasn't sure how thorough Loki's endeavor might have been, and he wouldn't be convinced until they'd at least made an effort with this curse themselves.

"Nevertheless, I think Constantine's right," he spoke up. The words hadn't tasted as foul as he thought they might, but he still quite intentionally didn't look at the man after he'd said them. "I think that will have to be our first course in treatment. After getting you back on your medication, of course," he added, nodding toward the pills in Anathema's hand.

[anathema-witch.livejournal.com]

"And trust me, you will be taking them, mister," Anathema replied, smiling slightly. She wasn't lying either. If necesary she would ram the things down Loki's throat. What a silly thign to do just because nothign seemed to be working. That didn't necessarily mean they weren't at least keeping the disease at bay for a while.

She shook the bottle of pills and opened the lid. "So, think he should start taking them now?" She said the question to both John and Gabriel. And was it her imagination, or did those two not like each other very much?

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

"They don't work and make me sick and dizzy," Loki complained pouting. "I really don't see what they're good for."

Of course he knew why he was supposed to take them. He had read about them, after all, and he wasn't stupid. He just didn't want to. He'd had enough of the fight. Couldn't those damn doctors ever leave one to die in peace?

[anathema-witch.livejournal.com]

"And you don't feel sick and dizzy while off them either? Hmm, then explain your little fainting spell outside?" It was mean, she knew, but right now she didn't really care. no, he was going to take the pills. She got one out and held it threateningly in her hand "Your choice, fight or be a good boy."

She didn't realise that Loki could act so much like...like a child!

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

"I do, but the pills make it worse instead of better," Loki pouted. "Not taking them." He turned his back to Anathema demonstratively.

[anathema-witch.livejournal.com]

"So," Anathema said, turning round to face John and Gabriel, "Do you think I should forcefeed him the pill, or do you think one of you could convince him not to fight?"

She was hoping that John could convince him since the two of them were at least friendly with each other. But if not...those pills were going to be going down very much by force.

[dangeroushabits.livejournal.com]

John pushed away from the door frame and walked over to hunker down eyeball to eyeball with Loki.

"Have you ever actually watched someone die of cancer, Loki? I have." His eyes were bleak, belying his cold, hollow tone. "It's not peaceful. It's sure as hell not painless. I watched a good mate go screaming in a pool of blood and shit, and I watched myself waste away in the mirror while I choked up black bits of my own lungs. I hate fucking cancer, Loki, and I will be damned if I'm gonna let it take another friend away without a fight."

He straightened up and looked down on the god coolly. "'sides, way I see it, you owe Crowley twice now. You're bloody well gonna live to pay up. So quit your whinging and take your fucking medicine before the nice lady makes good on her threat."

[dontcallmegabby.livejournal.com]

Gabriel nearly intervened, having little patience for such threats; if the other immortal was petulant enough not to cooperate in his own treatment, the archangel hadn't much reason to force it on him. However, there was a void quality to Constantine's voice as he addressed the illness that gave even Gabriel pause: a tone empty of all but the harshest of truths.

And he knew it was true, having witnessed the worst of Constantine's suffering himself. He didn't know if the man wondered why the angel would bother healing a pagan deity when he'd denied a mortal help all those years ago; but he felt the strain of guilt even when Constantine never spared a glance in his direction.

So Gabriel was quiet as Constantine spoke, arms crossed before him, eyes downcast, almost as though he stood in prayer. If the god could sense one fraction of the painful honesty in that voice that the angel could, he knew it would be intervention enough.

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

Loki suppressed a shudder at John's description, but he wouldn't admit that he was scared. Norse gods did not get scared of death or pain.

"There's nothing you or anyone can do about it, John. Nothing will work."

Why did it have to be John that witnessed his collapse? He hadn't meant to bother the human with this. He wanted Uriel here and Odin. Or maybe not them either. It might not be good for Bran to worry Uriel and Odin would be disgusted by his weakness. No, complete strangers like Anathema and Gabriel were the best thig in this situation.

[anathema-witch.livejournal.com]

"In other words," Anathema replied, "You're just giving up? I barely know you but it seems...out of character for you to do so."

She took a deep breath. "I've never watched anyone die from cancer before but I don't want to start now. So take your medicine."

She didn't bother adding on a please. She didn't think it would do any good in this situation.

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

"You do realise that this is not going to make any difference," Loki said, but did take the pill out of her hand. "Can I at least get some water to go with it?"

Swallowing the pill was going to make him feel sick either way, but without the water he wasn't even sure it'd stay down and he did not want to have to swallow another right away.

[anathema-witch.livejournal.com]

Thinking it a miracle that Loki had even taken the pill in the first place she raced off to get the glass of water asked for. Coming back, she handed it to him. "Here."

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

Despite the fact that he swallowed the pill with water Loki's stomach still clenched painfully and he had to fight against throwing up for a moment. Damn this had been a lot easier a few months ago. Maybe he should have asked for some food first.

Hie curled up un his side miserably. "Happy?"

[anathema-witch.livejournal.com]

"Yes, thanks Loki." She went back to her desk then, leavign the other tow in the room to say whatever they wanted to. She was still on duty after all and Loki was in the room with Gabriel. She couldn't see anythign bad happening right that second.

She was just happy she didn't have to force Loki to take his pills.

[dangeroushabits.livejournal.com]

John waited until Loki had complied, and then said with just a ghost of the cocky Constantine smirk, "We'll see about that...." Leaning down near Loki again, he touched the god's shoulder and stage-whispered conspiratorially, "Listen, if you wind up puking, try to do it on the Snob's shoes, eh?

"Anyway, I'll be back later, I got some shit to look up."

He walked out with a perfunctory nod to Gabriel.

About ten seconds later, he stuck his head back in the door, looking slightly sheepish. "Er. Anybody know offhand how you spell 'Czernobog'?"

[leucemic-god.livejournal.com]

"Try looking under slavic gods," Loki suggested. He wasn't too good at spelling other gods' names, or his own for that matter. It wasn't his fault, though. It was those stupid humans always changing the spelling around. And occasionally the alphabet, too. "Should have stuck to runes."

Not that Loki had ever learned to read those.

[dangeroushabits.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, all right," John said, subdued, and withdrew. He'd been hoping to at least draw a smile out of Loki now that he seemed to have decided he didn't hate the god after all. And where the fuck had that come from? He hated cancer, sure, that much was true, but it didn't change what Loki had done or the fact that his very nature made it likely he'd go right on pulling the same kind of shit if he survived.

Going soft, Constantine, he told himself with a sigh for the umpteenth time in the past year, and lit a cigarette as he headed for a phone. The Manor library wouldn't have what he was looking for, and he was fairly sure it wasn't in his personal collection, either. Time to put out some inquiries...