(no subject)

[i-hate-crawly.livejournal.com]

Time: 18th September
Place: Sugarplum's aquarium.
Status: Private - Ligur, John, Crowley.
Summary: Ligur's little secret is exposed.


Ligur tapped on the glass of Sugarplum's tank and felt a stab of something that felt horrifyingly like guilt. He hadn't been around very much lately for his favourite little pet, owing to his continuing work in the magical world, and was starting to worry whether his sporadic absences were causing her to feel neglected. It was for this reason that today - against all previous promises of heart-hardening and treat restriction - he'd brought her two extra-large bags of marshmallows. He knew that the feeding of such sweet delights to one's tentacle monster was likely to cause a lessening of aggression and a reduced attack capacity, but he didn't want her to start thinking that she was unwanted. Besides, in his rare moments of self-honesty, Ligur was forced to admit to himself that Sugarplum was perhaps not going to be the instrument of mass destruction he'd originally planned.

"Sugarplum," he crooned, in a fashion that would probably have traumatised any other sentient being present. "Look what daddy's brought you."

Sugarplum, who'd been splashing about on the side of the tank nearest to the mural depicting cheerful scenes from the Maelbolge, turned around at the sound of her owners voice and propelled herself excitedly to her owners side.

Ligur reached out and patted the tentacle she proffered. "Who's my special little monster, then?" he said, opening one of the bags and taking out one of the tasty treats within.

Sugarplum gave him pleading look.

Grinning he handed over the marshmallow, before dipping back into the bag and proffering a second, then a third, then a fourth. So intent was he on feeding his beloved pet that he didn't notice the sound of footsteps outside.

Comments

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

With a particularly evil smirk on his face, Crowley entered the room, taking up a position on Ligur's left side and looking into the tank while John moved off to the duke's right.

"Oh, look, John," he said, ignoring Ligur's presence, "what a particularly sweet and kind-hearted tentacle monster we've found." He tapped on the glass. "And so portly. Someone must be feeding you marshmallows. Who do you belong to, darling? Are you being neglected? What do you think, John? Should I adopt the poor thing?"

[dangeroushabits.livejournal.com]

"Well, I dunno, Crowley," John said with a matching grin of pure malice, peering in at the peculiar creature (which he might have found somewhat alarming in spite of her roly-poly appearance if he hadn't been forewarned,) "she's obviously well-fed. Someone must be right fond of her. They might get a tad upset. And I'm not sure tentacle monsters respond to the same treatment as houseplants and Bentleys. What d'you think, pet?" He clicked his tongue at Sugarplum, not quite sure how one communicated with a tentacle monster. "You getting lonely in there?"

[i-hate-crawly.livejournal.com]

As soon as he became aware of the other presences in the room, Ligur had frozen in horror. Her he was, caught with his hand in the marshmallow packet by that creep Crawly and the bastard Constantine, whilst crooning the most undemonic endearments at the tubby little tentacle monster. That wasn't the worst thing however. The gits were talking about taking Sugarplum away from him.

"What d'you want," he snarled, deciding that, in the absence of any half-way plausible excuse for his behaviour, an unpleasant demeanour was the best form of attack.

Sugarplum, for her part looked at the newcomers interestedly and extended a tentacle out of the water while widening her huge eyes and adopting her standard 'I'm a harless little monster please give me a treat' pose.

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

"She's spoiled," Crowley replied to John, continuing to ignore Ligur. "I'd give her some discipline. Get her to earn her keep. A little emotional abuse, a little physical abuse, and she'll be ready to learn new things."

He raised his eyebrows thoughtfully as if he'd just had an idea. "I know. I could give her a bloody great tattoo on one flank that says, 'Ligur loves me', and send her around to Belphegor and Pazuzu. That'd be a laugh. See, John, that's all I need. Just something to keep me occupied..."

[dangeroushabits.livejournal.com]

"Well, everybody needs a hobby," John said mildly (knowing full well Crowley would no more torment Sugarplum than he would skin and stuff the kitten Ellie had inexplicably given him, the big nancy.) "Shit, though, that'd be plain cruel. He'd never live it down. You oughta at least give the poor sod a chance to talk you out of it.

"...Heh, well would you lookit that. I think she likes us, Crowley." He gave the extended tentacle one tentative pat. "Sorry, sweet pea, I got nothing. Next time, eh?"

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

"There's nothing he can say to talk me out of it," he said sincerely. "I have my mind made up."

Crowley looked thoughtful for a moment. "Unless..."

[i-hate-crawly.livejournal.com]

Ligur's slimy bottom lip positively wobbled at the thought of his little Sugarplum being subjected to the 'Houseplant Treatment'. Even with his sub-par deduction skills the diabolic Duke could tell that the bastard snake was about to try and blackmail him.

"Unless what?" he demanded.

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

For the first time, Crowley looked directly at Ligur. Taking a threatening step forward into the Duke's personal space, the lesser demon focussed entirely on him. "Unless you tell me exactly who gave you the orders to torch the bookshop," he said intently. "Then I'll have someone else to keep me busy." Meaning, of course, that if Ligur chose not to share the information, Crowley would have to continue to be amused with him and Sugarplum in the meantime...

[i-hate-crawly.livejournal.com]

This was just too humiliating. If his minions in the pit could see him now.... Yet there was, Ligur knew only too well, absolutely sod all he could do if he wanted to save Sugarplum from the Houseplant Treatment. A year or two ago he would have attempted to frazzle the angel shagging bastard; but repeated spectacular and rather painful failures on that particular front since he'd arrived at the Manor had made him extremely wary of the serpent. Besides, that Constantine bloke was with him, and - though he'd never admit it - the man worried him.

There was really no choice but to talk.

The trouble was that he didn't have a clue who'd given him the orders.

"Look," he said sullenly, "I dunno who it was what sent the order. I just sent a bit of parchment with writing on it tellin' me to go and burn where that angel was."

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

"And do you always do what random bits of paper tell you?" sneered Crowley. "I knew you were a berk, but this is fucking ridiculous. As far as you know, you could've done an imp's bidding." He sighed. "Just tell me, for the monster's sake, that you still have this bit of parchment..."

[i-hate-crawly.livejournal.com]

Ligur snarled. Utterly incensed by the fact that what the bastard said was actually true: he had not considered the possibility that the person sending the order might have been a demon of lower standing than himself. In order to limit the blow to his demonic self-esteem, Ligur mentally told himself that he'd wanted to burn down the poncy angel's stupid shop anyway. Nevertheless, the diabolic Duke's demeanour took on an extra degree of sulleness.

"Got it 'ere," he muttered with a glower, before reaching into the left hand pocket of his mack and removing - after much rooting around - a crumpled and distinctly unsanitary piece of parchment, which he then grudgingly proffered to Crowley.

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

Snatching the filthy scrap of paper, Crowley scanned it quickly to make sure it was what he was looking for, then jammed it into his inside coat pocket. "I don't want to know why you were still carrying that around, but it's best for her you that you were. C'mon, John. We don't get to play with Ligur's little pet today. Have a nice day, Your Dukeness. Pleasure doing business with you."

[dangeroushabits.livejournal.com]

"Shame. Just about the friendliest, most harmless little Creature of Darkness I've ever met," John said, waving to the tentacle monster as he turned to follow Crowley.

"See you around, guv," he added amiably over his shoulder, "oh, and don't fret. I'm sure she'll work out fine as a lifeguard or a nanny or something."