(no subject)

[grimsirius.livejournal.com]

Time: September 10
Place: Library
Status: Private (Sirius and Aziraphale)
Summary: Sirius has a few questions



Sirius leaned in the doorway of the library, unsure. It had been a few days since his conversation with Crowley, and he'd so far managed to avoid tracking down the angel Crowley had mentioned. Truth be told, he was terrified-- he'd never gone in for religion much, but from what he did know about it, he doubted he'd stand up too well under close scrutiny. Still, Crowley said the angel wasn't a bad sort, so maybe it would be all right. He had Harry to think of now, so he had to get his problems under control, and he had to many questions to just put them all aside.

Blond and tweedy. The angel's name was something strange with a z in it somewhere. Sirius swallowed hard, and very cautiously stepped through the doorway into the library.

"Hello?"

Comments

[grimsirius.livejournal.com]

Sirius shrugged, slouching his shoulders slightly. "I was sorry. But when I died, it still wasn't enough, apparently. I mean, the place I was-- I don't think it could have been purgatory, because purgatory couldn't be quite that bad, you know? But I don't know how to be sorrier than I am and I don't know the rules and I don't know if I'm capable of being good enough for heaven, but if I'm really not good enough? I'm not exactly an expert, but I thought you people weren't in favor of false pride."

[ineffable-angel.livejournal.com]

"There are realms outside of simply Heaven and Hell, Purgatory and Limbo."

Aziraphale sighed. "If you- you can learn the rules, of course, if you have that original seed of belief in you already. An angel cannot give you hope you did not have already, as any preacher can make you religious when you weren't before. Everyone's capable of Heaven, no matter how great your sins are. You must be sorry for them, and you have that covered."

The angel settled a hand on the man's thin shoulder, gentle. "It's not a matter of believing you are good enough. It's a matter of showing that you believe at all - help others, follow the golden rules, be a good sort in life. You're still young, and have a life remaining to you - use it. Use it well." The Force is strong in this one, Aziraphale thought silently, watching him. The quote was a remnant from someone - nice young man, bit poor in the hygiene department - looking to purchase a "Star Wars" book.

I suck

[grimsirius.livejournal.com]

Sirius nodded, gripping the handle of his teacup very tightly at the unexpected touch. He hadn't let anyone except Remus and Harry touch him as a human in so long, and knowing what this man was, and what that affection meant-- the knowledge and the words together were almost too much.

When he risked a glance up and caught Aziraphale's gaze, he had to look away. But he nodded shakily. "Okay. Thank you. I'll try." He bit his lower lip. "I'm not really sure exactly how to, but I really will try."

It was odd, but the idea that he was young, that he had his life remaining to him, was difficult for him to process. He'd wasted so much time and lost so much, and he'd stopped thinking of his life as something that had any hope of lasting. But maybe old wounds would heal eventually, if more peaceful years went by. He wondered what he would do with all of that time, and Aziraphale's suggestion seemed as good as any.

Wtf? (Hey, rhyming!)

[ineffable-angel.livejournal.com]

Aziraphale nodded.

"Thank you. Perhaps it's also not my business to say, but you might also try letting your man - your friend know some of this, too."

He hadn't, quite, been sure what answer the man was looking for, but perhaps he'd found something.