Sirius nodded, a sudden pang of guilt flooding over him. He half turned his head and looked over Remus, and wondered how this could be the same person that he, only twenty years earlier, had thought capable of killing James, Lily, and Harry. The warmth he felt for Remus now, almost like the way he and James had been but somehow different, too, because it was Remus, didn't seem compatible with that kind of suspicion. If he hadn't been so completely fucking stupid...
He brought a hand to his face to cover it as he tried to get a grip on a few runaway emotions, and then he rubbed his eyes until they hurt, not because of tears (he didn't even know if he remembered how to cry), but because it seemed to help him keep a grip.
"I'm really sorry, Remus. Shit." He looked up and gave Remus a round, red eyed stare. He knew he and Remus had already dealt with this, so he shook his head, took a deep breath, and took another drink of the butterbeer. It wasn't as alcoholic as he would have liked, but he appreciated the warmth.
"Yeah. I bet it was all the firewhiskey," he said with a half a grin. There were too many fuzzy corners in his memories to put them all down to alcohol, but it was a welcome relief to think that somethings were getting back to normal, and he hated having to break the delusion. He felt slightly uncomfortable now, since the day was so lovely and the feelings of unease were beginning to surface. He picked up the sandwhich and took a savage bite, swallowed, then turned to Remus as though he'd been thinking hard. Finally, he grinned, reached over and grabbed the neck of Remus' bottle with both hands, and quickly took a deep swig of the drink.
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He brought a hand to his face to cover it as he tried to get a grip on a few runaway emotions, and then he rubbed his eyes until they hurt, not because of tears (he didn't even know if he remembered how to cry), but because it seemed to help him keep a grip.
"I'm really sorry, Remus. Shit." He looked up and gave Remus a round, red eyed stare. He knew he and Remus had already dealt with this, so he shook his head, took a deep breath, and took another drink of the butterbeer. It wasn't as alcoholic as he would have liked, but he appreciated the warmth.
"Yeah. I bet it was all the firewhiskey," he said with a half a grin. There were too many fuzzy corners in his memories to put them all down to alcohol, but it was a welcome relief to think that somethings were getting back to normal, and he hated having to break the delusion. He felt slightly uncomfortable now, since the day was so lovely and the feelings of unease were beginning to surface. He picked up the sandwhich and took a savage bite, swallowed, then turned to Remus as though he'd been thinking hard. Finally, he grinned, reached over and grabbed the neck of Remus' bottle with both hands, and quickly took a deep swig of the drink.
"Good stuff, that," he said cheekily.