Sirius allowed himself a few moments of grim satisfaction after hearing about the Malfoy’s downfall. It seemed that the Black lineage had finally come down to the disgraced Malfoys, a disowned and likely mad son who was never planning to reproduce, and the halfblooded Nymphadora Tonks. It was times like this that Sirius almost wished his mother was still alive.
Crowley’s question took him by surprise. He hadn’t talked about his time behind the veil with anyone. Remus had never asked, managing to sense as he always did that it wasn’t a welcome subject for discussion. Merely thinking about it brought the darkness creeping back along the edges of Sirius’ consciousness. The terror, the emptiness, and the knowledge that someday, no matter what he did, he would go back, was too much to handle.
He shook his head, not sure if he was doing it in response to Crowley, or to try and shake the darkness from his mind. “It was…” he shuddered, and felt surprisingly sober as he tried to think how to start. “Dark. Not normal dark. Nothing at all. Not even enough of me to…” His voice broke, slightly. He wasn’t going to start crying to a stranger he met in a bar, but he couldn’t stop the way his hands shook against the countertop. The bar was dimly lit, but the void at the edge of his consciousness was creeping across his vision. It was going to devour him completely, until there was nothing left.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2006-07-25 07:10 pm (UTC)Crowley’s question took him by surprise. He hadn’t talked about his time behind the veil with anyone. Remus had never asked, managing to sense as he always did that it wasn’t a welcome subject for discussion. Merely thinking about it brought the darkness creeping back along the edges of Sirius’ consciousness. The terror, the emptiness, and the knowledge that someday, no matter what he did, he would go back, was too much to handle.
He shook his head, not sure if he was doing it in response to Crowley, or to try and shake the darkness from his mind. “It was…” he shuddered, and felt surprisingly sober as he tried to think how to start. “Dark. Not normal dark. Nothing at all. Not even enough of me to…” His voice broke, slightly. He wasn’t going to start crying to a stranger he met in a bar, but he couldn’t stop the way his hands shook against the countertop. The bar was dimly lit, but the void at the edge of his consciousness was creeping across his vision. It was going to devour him completely, until there was nothing left.
“No,” he whimpered.