And, finally, she had taken the final step. Well, steps. First there had been the Falling angel with an unholy knife, leading to her first attempt at taking her own life. And then... Then there had been her knives: only a replacement for her sword, at first, when she no more could bear to look at it, but later also something more. Something to use in her depression, to remind herself of everything she had done, of the fact that she still existed even beyond the psychic pain – even it was only in another kind of pain.
She had no idea when the mania had stepped into the picture. It didn't matter much, anyway. Manic episodes were a way for her to let out her feelings, which she usually was afraid to unleash. However, as far as she was concerned, they were merely a side-effect of her depression. It had been there first, ever since the first Fall, and even if she could, by some miracle, get rid of her manic phases some day, she had no doubt she would still be depressed from time to time. It had been pain and emptiness that had truly brought her into existence for the first time, and she had no doubt that they would also mark the end of her existence some day.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2006-05-19 10:49 am (UTC)She had no idea when the mania had stepped into the picture. It didn't matter much, anyway. Manic episodes were a way for her to let out her feelings, which she usually was afraid to unleash. However, as far as she was concerned, they were merely a side-effect of her depression. It had been there first, ever since the first Fall, and even if she could, by some miracle, get rid of her manic phases some day, she had no doubt she would still be depressed from time to time. It had been pain and emptiness that had truly brought her into existence for the first time, and she had no doubt that they would also mark the end of her existence some day.
Not yet, thought. Not just yet.
She had a child to raise first.