"I... what? Shit, John," said Crowley anxiously, fiddling with his shirt cuffs and looking away. That wasn't how this was supposed to go. John was supposed to affectionately call him rude names and maybe give a gruff thanks, and Crowley was supposed to call him names back and things were supposed to go back to normal without either of them feeling anything remotely like embarrassment, guilt, or hurt.
He squirmed to remember the depth of remorse that the man lived with every day. Crowley never considered that John might feel embarrassed by what he had seen in the man's mind. Any humiliating experiences or feelings were completely overshadowed by the guilt. It was, by any measure, the thing he most remembered from the brief journey. "It was worth a wound..." he muttered under his breath.
"Don't. Look..." he took a deep breath, "Fuck-all of what I said that day was right. I was... upset. There was only one thing I said that I'd actually stand behind. And I'd just... oh, Adam Young, John. You have no reason to be sorry. I'm the one... I should have told you."
Gruffly, he seized John's shoulders and pulled him into an awkward hug. A few seconds of seeing from someone else's perspective had been enough to change Crowley's world forever.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2006-05-04 07:14 am (UTC)He squirmed to remember the depth of remorse that the man lived with every day. Crowley never considered that John might feel embarrassed by what he had seen in the man's mind. Any humiliating experiences or feelings were completely overshadowed by the guilt. It was, by any measure, the thing he most remembered from the brief journey. "It was worth a wound..." he muttered under his breath.
"Don't. Look..." he took a deep breath, "Fuck-all of what I said that day was right. I was... upset. There was only one thing I said that I'd actually stand behind. And I'd just... oh, Adam Young, John. You have no reason to be sorry. I'm the one... I should have told you."
Gruffly, he seized John's shoulders and pulled him into an awkward hug. A few seconds of seeing from someone else's perspective had been enough to change Crowley's world forever.