Raphael lifted his face to look at Gabriel. There were tears in his eyes but they remained unspilled.
"You don't understand - nobody does, nobody is in my position! I can't," he stated in an agitated but firm voice. "Don't you see that? I can't because then if something happens I won't have anybody to help me. He won't Fall. He can fight and protect himself. That's something I simply cannot do. Of the four of us I'm the least powerful in terms of combat. Do you think that's easy, knowing that I can barely defend myself?
I need him. Maybe... Maybe just until were out of the House or whatever happens, happens... I don't know. But I don't want to Fall!"
He took another deep breath.
"Besides... besides maybe it's already too late." He looked down at his hands again. "We've... I've... I mean... Michael and I have done a lot of stuff together. A lot of stuff. If he finds out I was, well... faking it, something bad could happen. He might get mad at me. Or at himself. He might do something stupid."
Suddenly, his face contorted and he grabbed a pillow, throwing it violently against the opposite wall.
"Why did he have to be such an idiot? So gullible?" He ranted hysterically, but low enough so that no one outside the room would hear. "It was like an invitation to do what I did! If he wasn't so dumb then this never would have happened! I wouldn't have tried if I didn't know I would succeed!
Stupid Michael," he pouted, flopping back down on the bed. "Stupid Michael, stupid house, stupid horseman, stupid everything."
Raphael sighed.
"I can't tell him, Gabriel. I can't. He might be my only chance. It feels like I'm going to explode, keeping it in, and I know I'm trapped...
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2006-02-17 04:39 am (UTC)"You don't understand - nobody does, nobody is in my position! I can't," he stated in an agitated but firm voice. "Don't you see that? I can't because then if something happens I won't have anybody to help me. He won't Fall. He can fight and protect himself. That's something I simply cannot do. Of the four of us I'm the least powerful in terms of combat. Do you think that's easy, knowing that I can barely defend myself?
I need him. Maybe... Maybe just until were out of the House or whatever happens, happens... I don't know. But I don't want to Fall!"
He took another deep breath.
"Besides... besides maybe it's already too late." He looked down at his hands again. "We've... I've... I mean... Michael and I have done a lot of stuff together. A lot of stuff. If he finds out I was, well... faking it, something bad could happen. He might get mad at me. Or at himself. He might do something stupid."
Suddenly, his face contorted and he grabbed a pillow, throwing it violently against the opposite wall.
"Why did he have to be such an idiot? So gullible?" He ranted hysterically, but low enough so that no one outside the room would hear. "It was like an invitation to do what I did! If he wasn't so dumb then this never would have happened! I wouldn't have tried if I didn't know I would succeed!
Stupid Michael," he pouted, flopping back down on the bed. "Stupid Michael, stupid house, stupid horseman, stupid everything."
Raphael sighed.
"I can't tell him, Gabriel. I can't. He might be my only chance. It feels like I'm going to explode, keeping it in, and I know I'm trapped...
But I can't."