"But what if something... awful happened? Not to me, but maybe someone else. Like... like if somebody took things all the wrong way and did something stupid or reckless. Wouldn't the status quo be preferable?"
The minute healer frowned.
"I'm an angel! I shouldn't even be able to lie! Something is wrong, seriously wrong, but I haven't Fallen - so do I just keep doing what I'm doing?" Suddenly his eyes widened and a thought struck him.
"Don't tell Uriel any of this, please. Don't say anything. I know you don't talk to a lot of angels, but don't tell them, I don't want them to know. Please, promise me you won't tell, I just needed to ask... There's not many here I can talk to who won't talk around or try to use it to their advantage. I can't trust many people, don't even know if I can trust you but if I don't say something it feels like I'm going to explode!"
He exhaled.
"Before I came here I always knew what to do, or so it seemed. And now whatever I do - I'm screwed, aren't I? I know what's true and what's not. I can't... I can't feel what I don't. But I can't say something or everything is going to fall apart. And that can't happened either. I can't make the fabrication true and I can't confess to it either. And that's not even considering the hateful emotions I've been feeling."
His mouth formed a line as he recognized the one lie he'd been spouting above all, saw it for a lie and realized what the truth of the situation was.
"I'm going to Fall," he stated flatly. "And I'm in too far to do a damned thing about it."
no subject
"But what if something... awful happened? Not to me, but maybe someone else. Like... like if somebody took things all the wrong way and did something stupid or reckless. Wouldn't the status quo be preferable?"
The minute healer frowned.
"I'm an angel! I shouldn't even be able to lie! Something is wrong, seriously wrong, but I haven't Fallen - so do I just keep doing what I'm doing?" Suddenly his eyes widened and a thought struck him.
"Don't tell Uriel any of this, please. Don't say anything. I know you don't talk to a lot of angels, but don't tell them, I don't want them to know. Please, promise me you won't tell, I just needed to ask... There's not many here I can talk to who won't talk around or try to use it to their advantage. I can't trust many people, don't even know if I can trust you but if I don't say something it feels like I'm going to explode!"
He exhaled.
"Before I came here I always knew what to do, or so it seemed. And now whatever I do - I'm screwed, aren't I? I know what's true and what's not. I can't... I can't feel what I don't. But I can't say something or everything is going to fall apart. And that can't happened either. I can't make the fabrication true and I can't confess to it either. And that's not even considering the hateful emotions I've been feeling."
His mouth formed a line as he recognized the one lie he'd been spouting above all, saw it for a lie and realized what the truth of the situation was.
"I'm going to Fall," he stated flatly. "And I'm in too far to do a damned thing about it."