Michael listened quietly as Raphael told of his little "adventure". A part of his mind roared in rage at the thought of Raphael kissing somebody, anybody else, and his heart hurt at the thought, but he forced himself to ignore that. After all, he didn't own Raphael. He had no right for jealousy.
"It's not diseases from their 'efforts'," he finally said, starting his response on that particular piece. "Not everything that goes wrong with people is a punishment. If you are sick, it doesn't meant that you are being punished, or that you have done something wrong to deserve it. You, if anybody, should know that sickness does not look at a person's heart. And, if it were a punishment, it wouldn't be for love; rather it would be for the careless and irresponsible behaviour that has caused them to catch those diseases at the first place.
"Just because you are making an effort and kissing someone doesn't mean that you should feel something," he then said. Hesitantly, he continued, "You know... Some time ago, Uriel came to talk to me. So, we talked, and, well, kissed. I was making an effort then, but I definitely didn't feel anything for Uriel aside from friendship. The only reason I liked that kiss was because for a moment I managed to forget it was Uriel and thought it was..."
He trailed off and lowered his eyes, ashamed at himself for even suggesting that. Yes, he had for a moment managed to fool himself into thinking that he was kissing Raphael. And, because of that, he had managed to enjoy the kiss.
"Effort and enjoyment don't always go hand in hand," he said, finally daring to continue. "Just because you are making an effort doesn't mean that you should automatically feel something. And, even if you aren't making one, you can still feel love for somebody -- both amor and eros. Making the effort only makes them more... intense. It is not the reason you feel them. And even if you don't feel anything like that when you kiss somebody while making an effort, it doesn't mean you're unable to do so; it only means that you aren't attracted to that particular person."
Raphael's comment about the retired Horseman had shocked him. To even think about Raphael actually hating someone was almost unthinkable -- never mind that not long ago Raphael had rather openly hated him.
"As for Pestilence, I don't like him, either. However, we cannot make him cease existing. He has a purpose, just as we do, and we have to accept his work, even if we do not approve of it. If there was no sickness, who would appreciate health? You have every right to hate him, though -- after all, he does try his best to undo all of your doing, just like you try to undo his deeds. You are two opposing forces, Pestilence and you; it would be strange indeed if you didn't want to make his work futile.
"And why do you say you only wish you could do something? Didn't you just say that you healed every human you encountered there? As much as you would probably like to, you cannot make everybody healthy; that would destroy Pestilence's existence, and that is beyond our power. However, you can try to -- and you do -- oppose him as fiercefully as you can. According to what I know about you, you do everything you can to heal everybody. If you do what you can, nobody can ask you to do more or blame you for not doing enough. And, Raphael, I simply shiver to think what the world would be like if there was nobody like you and Pestilence was given free rulement over the Earth."
Now, he fell silent for some time. Finally, he said, "As for making an effort, I can't tell whether or not you're meant to do so. You are capable of it, that is for certain; if you were meant not to make an effort, why would you be able to do so? However, whether you wish to do so is entirely your own choice. Some, like me, choose to do it. Some, like Uriel, choose not to. You are the only one who knows what is the right choice for you."
In his heart, hope and despair fought for the charge of him. The decision was perhaps only for Raphael to make, but it would also determine whether he had any hope of ever winning over the other archangel's heart or whether he was fighting a losing battle.
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"It's not diseases from their 'efforts'," he finally said, starting his response on that particular piece. "Not everything that goes wrong with people is a punishment. If you are sick, it doesn't meant that you are being punished, or that you have done something wrong to deserve it. You, if anybody, should know that sickness does not look at a person's heart. And, if it were a punishment, it wouldn't be for love; rather it would be for the careless and irresponsible behaviour that has caused them to catch those diseases at the first place.
"Just because you are making an effort and kissing someone doesn't mean that you should feel something," he then said. Hesitantly, he continued, "You know... Some time ago, Uriel came to talk to me. So, we talked, and, well, kissed. I was making an effort then, but I definitely didn't feel anything for Uriel aside from friendship. The only reason I liked that kiss was because for a moment I managed to forget it was Uriel and thought it was..."
He trailed off and lowered his eyes, ashamed at himself for even suggesting that. Yes, he had for a moment managed to fool himself into thinking that he was kissing Raphael. And, because of that, he had managed to enjoy the kiss.
"Effort and enjoyment don't always go hand in hand," he said, finally daring to continue. "Just because you are making an effort doesn't mean that you should automatically feel something. And, even if you aren't making one, you can still feel love for somebody -- both amor and eros. Making the effort only makes them more... intense. It is not the reason you feel them. And even if you don't feel anything like that when you kiss somebody while making an effort, it doesn't mean you're unable to do so; it only means that you aren't attracted to that particular person."
Raphael's comment about the retired Horseman had shocked him. To even think about Raphael actually hating someone was almost unthinkable -- never mind that not long ago Raphael had rather openly hated him.
"As for Pestilence, I don't like him, either. However, we cannot make him cease existing. He has a purpose, just as we do, and we have to accept his work, even if we do not approve of it. If there was no sickness, who would appreciate health? You have every right to hate him, though -- after all, he does try his best to undo all of your doing, just like you try to undo his deeds. You are two opposing forces, Pestilence and you; it would be strange indeed if you didn't want to make his work futile.
"And why do you say you only wish you could do something? Didn't you just say that you healed every human you encountered there? As much as you would probably like to, you cannot make everybody healthy; that would destroy Pestilence's existence, and that is beyond our power. However, you can try to -- and you do -- oppose him as fiercefully as you can. According to what I know about you, you do everything you can to heal everybody. If you do what you can, nobody can ask you to do more or blame you for not doing enough. And, Raphael, I simply shiver to think what the world would be like if there was nobody like you and Pestilence was given free rulement over the Earth."
Now, he fell silent for some time. Finally, he said, "As for making an effort, I can't tell whether or not you're meant to do so. You are capable of it, that is for certain; if you were meant not to make an effort, why would you be able to do so? However, whether you wish to do so is entirely your own choice. Some, like me, choose to do it. Some, like Uriel, choose not to. You are the only one who knows what is the right choice for you."
In his heart, hope and despair fought for the charge of him. The decision was perhaps only for Raphael to make, but it would also determine whether he had any hope of ever winning over the other archangel's heart or whether he was fighting a losing battle.