Raphael took another drink and focused his thoughtful gaze on Frankie.
"I tried, you know," he said, his voice very quiet. "I went to a club, dressed as I found out some time ago most dress. But this time, instead of nudging attention away and blending in, I let them notice me.
It drained me to do it, but I made an effort and healed them, each and every. And... and I asked them to kiss me in return. Women, men, mostly young, aesthetically attractive..." He sighed. "And nothing. Nothing real.
No amor. No eros. Just caritas. And maybe that means that there's something wrong with me," he said, his voice dull and slightly drowsy.
"If I did not fall... perhaps there is something wrong with me. But those people I healed - so many diseases from their 'efforts.' Is it punishment? For what, then, if love is not wrong?"
He paused.
"I hate Pestilence... and when I see them I wish I could do something about it.
But as for making an effort... maybe I'm just not meant to..."
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"I tried, you know," he said, his voice very quiet. "I went to a club, dressed as I found out some time ago most dress. But this time, instead of nudging attention away and blending in, I let them notice me.
It drained me to do it, but I made an effort and healed them, each and every. And... and I asked them to kiss me in return. Women, men, mostly young, aesthetically attractive..." He sighed. "And nothing. Nothing real.
No amor. No eros. Just caritas. And maybe that means that there's something wrong with me," he said, his voice dull and slightly drowsy.
"If I did not fall... perhaps there is something wrong with me. But those people I healed - so many diseases from their 'efforts.' Is it punishment? For what, then, if love is not wrong?"
He paused.
"I hate Pestilence... and when I see them I wish I could do something about it.
But as for making an effort... maybe I'm just not meant to..."