(no subject)

[i-hate-crawly.livejournal.com]

Date: August 7th, 1999
Setting: Tadfield Manor, Lobby
Status: Public
Summary: A letter appears, response to the ad in the brochure


It's generally held by the vast majority of the Earth's human population that things don't appear out of thin air. Despite this a piece of parchment, tattered around the edges and covered in badly spelt writing the colour of rust, materialised in the in-tray on the lobby desk.

Dear Sister Mary Lockasious Propryator Person Wot Is In Charge,

I am a dead important Duke of Hell wot wants to book a 2 week romantic getaway at your estableshment place. We would like a big room with a Duke size bed - preferably one wot doesn't ave too much of this renovation stuff done to it - with one of the en suit things (with taps running blood or if you don't 'ave that foetid water), an internet connection (so I can keep up with my livejournal) and a television (so we can watch romantic films like Jaws and Evil Dead).

Also, you say you provide tasteful adventures. Do you ave any tasteless ones? And wot sort of things can you get with room service.

Yours Unfaithfully,

Duke Ligur.


PS: Do you ave any entertainments on like ritual sacrifice or kareoke? Cos that would be dead good