"I know." John sighed and stared moodily at the ceiling, considering. Every fiber of his being recoiled at the idea of having his own memories screwed around with, even by Crowley. Once was more than enough for one lifetime. But wiping Kit's memory would simplify things, at least temporarily...
Ahh, but there it was: he couldn't lie to Kit. Particularly when he really didn't want to. Maybe if it was some small, unimportant thing, but not something like this--she'd been so generous, understood his intent so well and followed his lead without question, and it would be grossly unfair to try to deny it had happened. Sooner or later he'd slip up and say something he shouldn't, or she'd sense he was keeping something from her and call him out on it, and then if she hadn't already found out the truth about Crowley she would still demand to know why and how they had 'arranged' for her to forget. And be rightfully furious with them both, either way. No, there wasn't going to be an easy way out of this one.
Anyway, he'd vowed not to make the same mistake this time as before, keeping the part of his life with Kit in it walled off from the rest. She should have been told the truth long before now--it was a bit of a mystery how nobody had tipped her off already, in fact. Adam's doing, maybe. But it was going to have to end, and sooner than later.
"Nah," he said finally. "Reckon I'm gonna have to do this the hard way. But thanks, though. Just...is it okay if I tell her? I mean, if I see a good time for it...if there is any such thing." He didn't ask if Crowley wanted to do it himself; if he volunteered, fine, but John wasn't going to try to dump that responsibility on his friend.
Maybe they'd get lucky, and when the truth came out, however it happened, tonight would wind up actually making things easier. Kit had surprised him before. But he wouldn't hold his breath.
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Ahh, but there it was: he couldn't lie to Kit. Particularly when he really didn't want to. Maybe if it was some small, unimportant thing, but not something like this--she'd been so generous, understood his intent so well and followed his lead without question, and it would be grossly unfair to try to deny it had happened. Sooner or later he'd slip up and say something he shouldn't, or she'd sense he was keeping something from her and call him out on it, and then if she hadn't already found out the truth about Crowley she would still demand to know why and how they had 'arranged' for her to forget. And be rightfully furious with them both, either way. No, there wasn't going to be an easy way out of this one.
Anyway, he'd vowed not to make the same mistake this time as before, keeping the part of his life with Kit in it walled off from the rest. She should have been told the truth long before now--it was a bit of a mystery how nobody had tipped her off already, in fact. Adam's doing, maybe. But it was going to have to end, and sooner than later.
"Nah," he said finally. "Reckon I'm gonna have to do this the hard way. But thanks, though. Just...is it okay if I tell her? I mean, if I see a good time for it...if there is any such thing." He didn't ask if Crowley wanted to do it himself; if he volunteered, fine, but John wasn't going to try to dump that responsibility on his friend.
Maybe they'd get lucky, and when the truth came out, however it happened, tonight would wind up actually making things easier. Kit had surprised him before. But he wouldn't hold his breath.