John tossed back the whiskey without missing a beat, and scowled. "Problem? Nah, why the hell should it be a problem? Just because it took her seven fucking years to get around to thinking of it?" He hadn't realized he was angry about that until the words were coming out of his mouth. "Took me going all the way over there and not leaving a message, apparently. And now I can't help but wonder if that's what she wanted all along, for me to follow her. Like I had any reason to think it would help." His grip on the glass tightened as unwilling memories crowded in, of the days after the breakup and how close he'd come to simply lying down and dying. "Where the hell was she when I needed--"
He cut himself off abruptly just as he was about to throw the glass at the wall, and slumped in his chair, rubbing his forehead. "Sorry. She's thrown me," he added quietly. "That's all. Kit's normal, Crowley. I mean, for her demons and Armageddon and all that are stuff you read about in the Bible but don't get to see until after you're dead. She never wanted it any other way. And she doesn't look back." He made a helpless gesture. "And she's--I don't think she's telling me everything. If she could find this place, she could have got the number and rung to check I was all right. I have no fucking clue why she'd come looking for me or what to do about it, and that's the truth." And it terrifies me. Just don't ask me to say it out loud.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2007-02-08 06:53 am (UTC)He cut himself off abruptly just as he was about to throw the glass at the wall, and slumped in his chair, rubbing his forehead. "Sorry. She's thrown me," he added quietly. "That's all. Kit's normal, Crowley. I mean, for her demons and Armageddon and all that are stuff you read about in the Bible but don't get to see until after you're dead. She never wanted it any other way. And she doesn't look back." He made a helpless gesture. "And she's--I don't think she's telling me everything. If she could find this place, she could have got the number and rung to check I was all right. I have no fucking clue why she'd come looking for me or what to do about it, and that's the truth." And it terrifies me. Just don't ask me to say it out loud.