He ran a hand through his hair and smiled wryly. "Yeah. John helped me clean it a few days ago, but it didn't last long."
Remembering John's advice on that occasion, Adam made himself comfortable by sitting cross-legged on his bed and looked at Pepper, intending to tell her the truth and hoping she could handle it. "Now, I gotta ask that you listen to me all the way through without interruptin'. I'll explain everythin' I did and why and hopefully you'll understand why I made the choices I did... And if you're still mad at me, I'll understand."
He looked chagrined. "See, War's not just an angry lady who likes to fight. She is fightin'. Anytime anyone's ever fought anyone else since the beginnin', she was there. 's not like it's a hobby or somethin'. She can't help it. Well, I knew that she was gonna hafta fight someone while she was here, an' I was afraid it might be you, but I wasn't sure. I was right, though, and she attacked you at the barbecue.
"I was a little bit glad 'cause it was in front of everyone else, so I knew you couldn't get hurt too bad, and I'd be able to take care of some other stuff, too. 'Cause I did know that she'd hafta fight someone, but if I could make sure she felt guilty enough about it afterward, then maybe she wouldn't attack anyone else while she was here. John calls it the lesser of two evils. At that second, I had to decide whether to help you or try to protect everyone else in future. And believe me, Pep, it was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. But in the end, I let it go, making sure I could interrupt before you got real hurt. I knew, too, that Gabriel could heal you quickly and painlessly. And... well, it'd make you more aware of the dangers around you in case I couldn't be there one day."
Adam looked at his blanket despairingly. Pepper was never going to forgive him for this.
"So then I stopped her and talked sternly to you both. I knew you were fuzzy-headed and I hoped you wouldn't actually hear any of it. I wasn't mad at you at all and I know it wasn't your fault. But I hadda say it 'cause everyone was watchin'. What do you think would have happened if I'd just yelled at War and started helpin' you? People'd go, 'That Adam Young. He's only neutral when he wants to be. If his friends are in trouble he'll help them every time.' And half the people there woulda stopped trustin' me. But I need them to trust me. I need them to think that I'll be there to save them when they need savin', too, 'cause I will be. But I had Aziraphale make you feel better, so Anathema and Shadow could take you off to see Gabriel, and then made War promise not to hurt anyone again. Then I hadda talk to Brian 'cause he was real worried about you and angry. We came to see you as soon as we could and when we got there you were already fixed. And mad. But that's understandable."
He looked up to meet her eyes again. "You didn't trust me, though. You said I was doin' a piss poor job of keepin' everyone safe. Of keepin' you safe. And you wouldn't listen. I guess that was enough. The darkness... well, it was safer for me to leave just then. 'm glad Brian stayed to take care of you."
For a long, silent moment, Adam picked at the hem of his shirt.
"Everythin' I do is for a reason, you know. 'Cause you got your collarbone broke, you mighta saved thousands of people from dyin'. But I didn't have enough time to explain and get your permission first, so I made a decision. I'm sorry, Pepper. I really am. But it had to happen and that was about the best way it could have gone. Believe me."
no subject
Remembering John's advice on that occasion, Adam made himself comfortable by sitting cross-legged on his bed and looked at Pepper, intending to tell her the truth and hoping she could handle it. "Now, I gotta ask that you listen to me all the way through without interruptin'. I'll explain everythin' I did and why and hopefully you'll understand why I made the choices I did... And if you're still mad at me, I'll understand."
He looked chagrined. "See, War's not just an angry lady who likes to fight. She is fightin'. Anytime anyone's ever fought anyone else since the beginnin', she was there. 's not like it's a hobby or somethin'. She can't help it. Well, I knew that she was gonna hafta fight someone while she was here, an' I was afraid it might be you, but I wasn't sure. I was right, though, and she attacked you at the barbecue.
"I was a little bit glad 'cause it was in front of everyone else, so I knew you couldn't get hurt too bad, and I'd be able to take care of some other stuff, too. 'Cause I did know that she'd hafta fight someone, but if I could make sure she felt guilty enough about it afterward, then maybe she wouldn't attack anyone else while she was here. John calls it the lesser of two evils. At that second, I had to decide whether to help you or try to protect everyone else in future. And believe me, Pep, it was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. But in the end, I let it go, making sure I could interrupt before you got real hurt. I knew, too, that Gabriel could heal you quickly and painlessly. And... well, it'd make you more aware of the dangers around you in case I couldn't be there one day."
Adam looked at his blanket despairingly. Pepper was never going to forgive him for this.
"So then I stopped her and talked sternly to you both. I knew you were fuzzy-headed and I hoped you wouldn't actually hear any of it. I wasn't mad at you at all and I know it wasn't your fault. But I hadda say it 'cause everyone was watchin'. What do you think would have happened if I'd just yelled at War and started helpin' you? People'd go, 'That Adam Young. He's only neutral when he wants to be. If his friends are in trouble he'll help them every time.' And half the people there woulda stopped trustin' me. But I need them to trust me. I need them to think that I'll be there to save them when they need savin', too, 'cause I will be. But I had Aziraphale make you feel better, so Anathema and Shadow could take you off to see Gabriel, and then made War promise not to hurt anyone again. Then I hadda talk to Brian 'cause he was real worried about you and angry. We came to see you as soon as we could and when we got there you were already fixed. And mad. But that's understandable."
He looked up to meet her eyes again. "You didn't trust me, though. You said I was doin' a piss poor job of keepin' everyone safe. Of keepin' you safe. And you wouldn't listen. I guess that was enough. The darkness... well, it was safer for me to leave just then. 'm glad Brian stayed to take care of you."
For a long, silent moment, Adam picked at the hem of his shirt.
"Everythin' I do is for a reason, you know. 'Cause you got your collarbone broke, you mighta saved thousands of people from dyin'. But I didn't have enough time to explain and get your permission first, so I made a decision. I'm sorry, Pepper. I really am. But it had to happen and that was about the best way it could have gone. Believe me."