[identity profile] anathema-witch.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] neutral_omens
Date: May 13 2001
Setting: Hopital wing.
Status: Private - Anathema, Gabriel, John, Loki (Is Adam and Sphix joining in? Is there anyone I forgot? Will edit later.)
Summary: Loki is told about the bone marrow transplant and Anathema and Gabriel start looking for donors. John gets a jab.

After quite a bit of research on the topic, and quite a few talks, it had been decided that the best way to treat Loki of the leukaemia was through a bone marrow transplant.

A few problems remained. One was telling Loki and getting him to agree with it. The God was stubborn as any man shaped being Anathema had ever met. Another was finding a donor that matched. Which could be hard without another God from the Norse pantheon running about, and even then it would be plain luck.

But still, there were quite a lot of people in the manor and if they were really lucky, one would be a good enough match to work with. It was just the problem of finding people who would be willing to give their marrow, and if Loki didn't want it, then there was going to be a lot more problems.

So, with much deliberation, Anathema set off to Loki's room determined to live through this day. She was going to try and convince Loki of going through with the operation.

Without it he would die. Maybe that woudl be enough of a push in the right direction. If not, Gabriel was there to help her.

Date: 2007-11-25 11:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leucemic-god.livejournal.com
Loki was watching his rat feeling quite proud of himself. He was almost sure that it had been two days since Adam had caught the little animal for him and he still remembered it.

In fact he had snippets of memories from several, maybe all, visits he'd had since then and felt confident that he'd recognise those people again. They weren't as clear as the much older memories of his life in Asgard which had finally returned, but it was a lot better than the huge gaping hole between Asgard and the hospital.

He even wondered whether it had anything to do with Adam, but then he thought Adam might have said something about not being a healer. He looked a bit too young for it anyway. Still, even if it was just a coincidence that Adam had been the first thing to stick in his memory again, Loki felt very grateful towards him for giving him the rat.

Date: 2007-12-03 11:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leucemic-god.livejournal.com
The shriek startled Loki causing him to sit up straight ready to ... well, he wasn't actually in any shape to fight or flee. And then Anathema asked about the rat. Hadn't she seen him yesterday? Oh well, maybe the rat had been asleep when Anathema had checked up on him. She should have noticed the cage, though.

"Oh, Adam caught him for me. Isn't he cute?" Loki thought his rat had the most adorable little snout and naked tail ever. Not to mention the cute little black eyes.

Date: 2007-12-06 09:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leucemic-god.livejournal.com
Loki smiled. He liked to hear somebody agree about his pet. From what he could remember of his life people had a tendency to dislike any animal he adopted.

"I'm trying to find out what his favourite foods are," he explained. "If I can manage to remember what I've fed him, that is. Are you here to feed us?" She hadn't brought the expected tray of food.

Date: 2007-12-10 07:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangeroushabits.livejournal.com
He'd been putting it off way too long, and he knew it. The truth was, he was being a bloody coward (again): he already had plenty of guilt dragging him down, and didn't especially want to shoulder any more, however well-deserved it was--especially from someone who might or might not ever remember what had happened (or even that they had ever been friends.) He also felt like he was in hot water with Crowley on a couple of counts now over Loki-related incidents; the demon had been uncharacteristically tolerant about the whole thing, but John knew his patience had limits, and he preferred not to test them.

But he'd talked Loki into letting himself be magicked, or had helped anyway, and he had probably been at least partly to blame for things going pear-shaped, and he knew only too well how profoundly amnesia could fuck with a person. Plus Loki still wasn't out of the woods yet, even if he'd been de-cursed.

When it came down to it though, what finally led John back to the hospital wing in defiance of his worse-if-wiser self was that friend thing: neither one of them had many to spare. Walking away really wasn't an option, no matter how much simpler it might have made his life. It'd still be a life with an uncomfortably Loki-shaped hole in it.

He knocked tentatively on the god's door, not sure what kind of welcome to expect.

Date: 2007-12-10 10:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leucemic-god.livejournal.com
Loki was surprised to hear another visitor knock on the door. Of course his memories of this place went back little more than a day, but he'd thought that only Anathema and that Gabriel fellow who'd been here during the night worked in the hospital. did Anathema have an assistant he wasn't aware of, yet? Or was this Adam returning for another chat?

Well, only one way to find out. "It's open!" Loki called out happily.

Date: 2007-12-12 11:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangeroushabits.livejournal.com
John peered around the edge of the door for a moment before stepping inside, not quite certain how to handle this. Loki wasn't looking too bad, he thought, considering. "Hey, Loki. You, ah, might not remember me. I'm John." He glanced at Ana, silently asking for help, though he had no idea what she could do.

Date: 2007-12-13 11:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leucemic-god.livejournal.com
Loki looked at John pretending to try and remember something, but actually just to buy time. Was it wiser to tell the truth, even if it hurt and possibly alienated John, or to pretend that he recognised him and risk being caught in a lie.

"Maybe," he said. "I'm not sure. The clearest memories I have at the moment are from my childhood. Everything else is a bit ... blurry?" He thought it was a good not-quite-truth.

Date: 2007-12-15 04:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangeroushabits.livejournal.com
John smiled ruefully. "Yeah, 'sall right. I know how it is. Give it some time, it'll come back to you." He (mostly) hoped that was true. "I just thought I'd drop by, see how you were doing."

He looked at Anathema questioningly. "News...?"

Date: 2007-12-16 12:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leucemic-god.livejournal.com
"Oh right," Loki remembered. "News. I thought you were going to give us breakfast."

His memory might be improving, but there was clearly still something wrong with his attention span.

Date: 2008-01-15 11:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leucemic-god.livejournal.com
Loki shuddered. Yes, he knew what that was. He'd read about it, thought about it and realised that it was one step he couldn't take even if it were a guaranteed cure.

"That's out of the question," he said in a cold determined tone that Anathema had probably never heard from him before. This wasn't something he'd joke about.

Date: 2008-01-18 11:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leucemic-god.livejournal.com
"It isn't an option," Loki repeated. "We've discussed these things before."

Okay, so they'd actually only discussed blood transfusions and in Loki's mind this was even worse, but it was the same principle.

Date: 2008-01-22 08:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangeroushabits.livejournal.com
John shifted uncomfortably. His insistence that Loki should go through with the cursebreaking was a primary reason why Loki was now minus his memory, and had almost got several people killed to boot. And why should the god listen to someone he didn't even know he knew? Still, Ana knew her stuff, and if she said a transfusion was the only way, it's be plain stupid not to go ahead with it after so much trouble and risk had gone into getting Loki this far...

He cleared his throat. "I've talked to people who've had it done," he said reluctantly, remembering the cancer ward he'd visited. "It's not fun, but mebbe not as bad as it sounds." He cocked his head to one side as something else occurred to him. Just how much did Loki remember, at this point? "Or is that not the problem?" Transfusions between humans and immortals, as he had personal reason to know from an unrelated incident, could have all sorts of unforseen complications and consequences.

Date: 2008-01-22 08:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leucemic-god.livejournal.com
"I don't care about whether it's fun or not," Loki snapped at the man he still didn't really remember. "My blood would no longer be my own. Do you have any idea what blood means to us?"

These humans did not understand his culture. He wasn't completely sure what they were, but definitely not Norse. It was frightening that they didn't understand such basic concepts as the relevance of blood, though. Did they have any family ties at all?

Date: 2008-01-23 12:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leucemic-god.livejournal.com
Loki shook his head. "It's about my blood," he tried to explain. "The blood I share with my children. The blood I shared with Odin. I cannot accept breaking those ties."

It was surprising even to himself how much he felt defined by hose bonds, but that only proved that he was right not to want a stranger's blood in his veins.

Date: 2008-01-30 11:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leucemic-god.livejournal.com
Loki laughed bitterly. "The only one of my children I've seen at all in centuries is Sleipnir and he's well cared for by Odin. Besides do you really think he'll give a damn about me, if we no longer share a blood connection?"

Actually Sleipnir probably would. He was no more intelligent than any other horse so the concept of exchanging a person's blood was not something that'd ever occur to him. It didn't matter, though, because the one deciding who Sleipnir associated with was Odin and there was no hiding something as big as this from him.

Date: 2008-02-03 12:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangeroushabits.livejournal.com
For once, John was at a loss. How did you save someone who adamantly didn't want to be saved, a friend who didn't even know you were his friend? He could remind Loki about the debts he owed, but he wouldn't remember those either and had no reason to believe they actually existed. And there came a point where badgering a mate for his own good just started to get cruel.

"Look," he said finally, deciding to give it one last shot before he finally wrote Loki off as a lost cause, "you've got no reason to listen to me, so I won't blame you if you just tell me to bugger off. But I gotta tell you, Loki, if blood was the only thing that tied us to people, you'd already be dead. If it matters so much, it should be Odin standing here telling you to live, not Ana and me. And if you kick off because you wouldn't risk that bond, then it's Odin who's killed you, not the disease. Is that what you want us to tell him when he finally gets around to coming back for you?" He shrugged. "Besides, he was willing to make you his brother once, great bloody pain-in-the-arse that you are. What makes you think he wouldn't do it again?"

Date: 2008-02-03 11:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leucemic-god.livejournal.com
Now taking his rat away was just plain unfair, but then this kind of treatment wasn't unfamiliar and at least Loki hadn't bonded with the animal the way he once had with his children. Anathema wasn't Odin and she'd never be able to hurt him as much as Odin did.

John, though ... Well, at least Loki could follow the logic behind his argument. Yes, he supposed he would still have any friends he'd made in their culture, but he couldn't remember them at the moment, so how could he determine whether they could replace Odin and Sleipnir?

"Norse culture has no place for the sick and weak and that exchange of blood was a once in a lifetime opportunity. It binds Odin to me no matter what. He can't just change his mind about it, but if I show it so little respect to just throw it away, why should he offer me that chance again? It's not something you do lightly. I gave up my jotun kin by accepting that bond. By giving it up I'd be giving up my status as Aesir. Where else would I belong then? I'd be an outcast wherever I go."


Angels and demons / most people wouldn't believe / how great the sex is.

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